HOW TO BE RE-BORN, AND COME TO THE LORD

We should all experience a mighty change of heart like this.

I have had something far less dramatic than this at two junctures in my life.  You have to want it with all your being.  God is not a liberal - He does not hand out a prize to the unwilling, but is the rewarder of ALL those who diligently seek His face:

"...For seven years the Lord had prepared my mind and my heart. My time was at hand. My Heavenly Father sent to me a son of God, a member of the church who was and is a true disciple of Christ, to draw me unto His Beloved Son. This blessed man carried within his soul the seed of Christ which he planted within my heart. Like all true endowments of the Spirit, only those who have the gift can confer it to others by the power of the Holy Ghost.
What was this seed of Christ? It was the blessed gift of pure testimony that enlivened within my soul the need and will to live spiritually. This is the endowment that ultimately induced the labor of the second birth.
The Spirit of the Lord bore witness to me that this man knew Christ. As we sat in my home one evening I felt the power of his testimony of the Savior as I had never felt it before. My soul was aflame with the desire to know the Lord as this man did, and I told him so.
The next morning as we were about to depart, my new friend boldly invited me to come to Christ. He urged me to pray more fervently until I received the baptism by fire; he called me to repent until I received a complete remission of my sins. His words were bold but kind and they sunk deeply unto the core of my heart. The seed of Christ had been planted. Little did I know what all of this would mean.
This was a very difficult time in my life. At the time I was serving as the Stake Mission President in my stake. I was immersed in my calling and was enjoying a good measure of success. But I was self-employed at the time and my consulting practice was very slow. In fact, at the time I had no clients and was financially without means to provide for my family.
It was during this time that I was called to come home to Christ. Shortly after my friend departed I found myself in my office alone and without work. The Spirit called me one day as I sat behind my desk and prompted me to pray. I instructed my secretary that I did not want to be interrupted under any circumstances and then locked myself in my office and began to pour out my heart unto God.
I prayed that day and for two succeeding days. I prayed long and hard and for many things. But the primary intent and focus of my prayers was to know the Lord and to understand and appreciate the personal implications of the Atonement in my life.
On the third day, July 21, 1981, I found myself kneeling again by my chair in fervent prayer to know the Lord. Suddenly I saw myself praying and the presence of the Lord was beside me. As I watched, the Lord spoke to my mind and said, "Look." I looked and for the first time in my life I saw myself as I really was, through the eyes of Christ.
What I saw I cannot fully describe in words. My whole soul was illuminated and I saw with complete clarity and understanding the deepest recesses of my subconscious mind. I saw within the hidden nooks and crannies of my soul the effects of all my sins as well as all my sins of commission and omission which had been repressed into the hidden regions of my mind. I was completely transparent. Everything was now so painfully clear, my sinful motives, intentions and desires, all cleverly disguised and rationalized through years of self-talk. Even the good things I had done for the wrong reasons were flashed before my all-seeing eye. No act, word or deed escaped my view. I saw everything.
As I beheld myself thus, my mind was, to use Alma's words, "racked with torment" and "inexpressible horror." Several times I tried to shut out the vision but the Lord would not allow it. Each time I tried to turn away the Lord would say, "Look," and I continued to look into my soul. I wept and pleaded for the Lord to stop the vision. When I had finally seen everything, the vision ended and there was darkness. I tried to find the Lord but He was no longer beside me.
The scene instantly changed and I found myself behind the brush on the outside of a garden clearing. Again a voice came to my mind and instructed me to look. My eyes turned to the garden clearing and there, in the midst, I saw my beloved Redeemer. Suddenly it became clear to me that I was witnessing His act of Atonement. But what transpired I was not prepared to see.
How can one explain with mortal words the agony of a God. Anything I say or write somehow diminishes the impact.
Be that as it may, I saw the love and suffering of the Christ and am a personal witness of it. I don't know how it is possible, but I was in Gethsemane on the day of His Agony and I saw in great and terrible detail with my eyes and heard in awful clarity with my ears that which is too sacred to describe to unprepared ears.
His sobs and His cries pierced my soul and I felt the wrenching of my heart with each audible groan or quivering convulsion of His body. Then came the revelation that broke my heart: "Behold the love of God for you and His suffering for your sins."
It was too much to bear. As I became aware that He was suffering such agony for me because of my sins, because of His love for me for a "soul so rebellious and proud as mine," my heart broke and I thought I would die. Never had I sobbed and wept so violently and with such bitterness of soul. I never knew the body could sob as mine did. I never knew a heart could break as mine did. I never knew a broken heart would hurt as much as I hurt. I was in agony as never before. I thought my heart would stop and my head and chest would explode. I cried out and begged the Father to stop the suffering of my Friend and Elder Brother. "Stop it! Stop it! Please stop His suffering!" I wept, I sobbed and my body convulsed in anguish as I attempted to reach through the brush to hold Him, to somehow comfort Him. But His suffering did not stop and there was nothing I could do to help Him.
Finally, resolving myself to this hopeless state and wishing only to die for what I had done to Him, I cried out through my choking sobs, "Please forgive me! Please, dear God, forgive me for what I have done to my Savior. I am sorry, so very, very sorry for hurting Him so. It is enough," I continued, "please stop His suffering. I will never again do anything to hurt Him. Never! Never!"
I continued to sob and plead for forgiveness until I was totally exhausted and lay slumped on the floor weeping hot tears of anguish and pain. My strength was exhausted and I was prepared to die when the vision stopped and the voice of the Lord said unto me, "My son, thy sins are forgiven thee."
When I heard these words from my Savior I was filled with fire, which I later came to know was the endowment of charity. Never had I felt such love, such peace. I was overcome again unto great sobbing, but this time with joy.
So intense was the outpouring of God's love through the fire of His Spirit that I felt as though my very life would end and my flesh would be consumed. I came to know by the spirit of revelation that my life was acceptable to the Lord; that I had been completely and unconditionally cleansed of all my sins and the effects of my sins; that I had been made holy, without spot -- clean every whit -- by His precious blood. I had been truly born again to enter into the Kingdom of God; I was redeemed from the fall; sanctified by the endowment of His perfect love, even charity. Through this experience I came to understand the meaning of total conversion; of justification and of sanctification; of full repentance.
I now know with a perfect knowledge that all men must be born again, or sanctified of the spirit, in order to receive their salvation and obtain their exaltation. I know now that only those who are truly born again can enjoy the blessings of the sanctified and can develop to the full stature of Christ. I know now that there is a difference between the righteousness of God and the righteousness of man; between full repentance and partial repentance; between a broken heart and a contrite spirit; between receiving forgiveness from one's sins and a complete and unconditional forgiveness from the effects of the fall or the natural man; between an awakening of conscience which cultivates a sense of duty to God and man and a mighty change of heart which bears the fruit of charity toward God and all men.
I know now that the only way to Christ is through the offering of a broken heart and that the only way to offer such a sacrifice acceptably is to experience, in a personal way, the power and reality of the Atonement in our life; to understand and appreciate sufficiently the personal implications of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for our sins and fallen nature. Perhaps this may come in different ways to different people, but the substance and results of the experience will, of necessity, always be the same. The greatest manifestation of God's love for us is in the Savior's suffering for our personal sins. It is the power of His suffering for us that draws us to Him in a complete sense and changes our heart totally. When our sacrifice of a broken heart has been accepted (i.e., justified) by the Lord, when we have fully repented of all our sins, then is our life acceptable (i.e., justified) unto the Lord. Sanctification, which is the effect or fruit of justification, totally cleanses and purifies the spirit and endows the person with a faith and hope in Christ, and with charity.
At this point, a few words of explanation might be appropriate. First, no one need suppose that they are exempt from the second birth or that their life and sacrifice is acceptable unto God unless it has been declared thus by the spirit of revelation. Such revelation is essential because we cannot, by definition, be conscious of sins and their effects that reside in the subconscious mind. A person can therefore believe that his/her sins and fallen nature have been repented of and yet have no knowledge that such is, in fact, the case unless it has been unmistakably revealed and confirmed by the Lord. All men and women must be born again to enter into the Kingdom of God. There are those who may "speak with the tongues of men and angels" and "have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and... have all faith" yet, without spiritual rebirth, without the conferral of charity through personal sanctification, they become as "sounding brass, or tinkling cymbal" and are "nothing."
Second, no one who is to be truly born again can avoid the painful anguish of going through the birth canal and, while it is true that the gestation period of sanctification is indeed a process, yet the actual birth is an event in time.
Third, only the Lord defines the price that needs to be paid and the timetable of spiritual rebirth
Fourth, personal sanctification does not just happen. It must be sought for diligently through mighty prayer and obedience.
Fifth, personal sanctification is and can be experienced in mortality and should be sought for in this Life.
Sixth, the only way to offer up a broken heart sufficient for full repentance is to experience a personal encounter with the reality of the Atonement in our lives; to realize by the spirit of revelation the love of Christ for us personally, as manifested in His suffering for our sins. This does not mean that every person must have an identical experience to the one presented here, but an encounter there must be, and what a glorious encounter it is.
Seventh, no one can be truly born again, or sanctified, unless he/she has received the ordinances of baptism and confirmation and has fully repented of all his/her sins and will. Any forgiveness of sins referred to prior to baptism is merely conditional and anticipatory. Complete forgiveness through personal sanctification cannot take place without the ordinances of baptism and confirmation, performed by the legal administrators of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Finally, there is a difference between being righteous, or holy, and being absolutely perfect. True it is that those who are sanctified are perfect in Christ, yet they are not without weaknesses, or personal flaws. Even the sanctified err and make mistakes. But the will, or desire, to sin is not in them and the gift of repentance remains with them continually. Once a person has been born again he/she is a new born babe in Christ and therefore proceeds, through the grace of God, to develop into the full stature of Christ, until that glorious day when that more sure word of prophecy is sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise and we receive the Second Comforter as promised. With the blessed revelation of salvation that I received from the Lord I knew that I would be blessed forever and subsequently sought, with all the energy of my soul, to make my calling and election to exaltation sure. I knew that, while I had been saved, I had not yet received that more sure word of prophecy; that while I was an heir, I had not yet perfected the claim on my inheritance. After much tribulation and great struggling in the flesh and in the spirit, I finally obtained this great assurance, together with the literal fulfillment of that great promise spoken of in D&C 93:1, JohnI4:16 and 2 Nephi 32:6. This occurred nearly ten years from the date of my redemption.
As I have searched my life for contrasts before and after my spiritual rebirth, I have found many valuable insights.
What has been the essential difference? Without question it has been the endowment of charity to my soul and the knowledge, through revelation, that my life is totally acceptable unto the Lord. The effects of this difference are far reaching and difficult to describe without sounding commonplace. Basically, for the first time in my life, I had come to know myself through my relationship with Christ. There was no more doubt, no running or hiding from myself; no more questions about who I was, what I was worth and what my status was with God. There were no more nagging questions or repressed doubts or concerns about my life and about the meaning and value of my life; no more pretenses. I was free. The truth had made me free; free from repressed guilt; free from insecurity; free from pretense; free from rationalization; free from doubt; free to love and to give myself totally to Christ and to God's children, for I had finally found myself in Christ. The essential difference is self-truth, and what a difference it is. I was in bondage and didn't know it. I thought I really knew myself before, but I knew nothing; only reflections in the social mirror; only a self-concept based on who I thought I was or wanted to be. The truth was hidden, repressed deeply within my spirit mind. It was hid in Christ. I knew, or rather sensed, that something was missing, but I never dreamed that what was missing was me, the truth about me and my relationship to Christ. How limited, restricted and frustrated I was; how confused. Here I was, totally active in the church and committed to the Gospel, and yet I was not enjoying the real power of God on a consistent basis. My confidence was a show, one that I hoped was real but which I knew was not. I had no power to move the heavens and I knew it. It's one thing to think you know who you are and how you stand with the Lord, and another to know perfectly. Truly Christ is the Way, the Truth and the Life. When I was born again I found my life, I found myself and I found my Savior. I found the way, the way of love, the pure love of Christ, and the way to such love, which is a broken heart and a contrite spirit. I found peace and love and joy and hope. And now that I had found all this, I was free, released from the chains of hell, the chains of ignorance, and free to see beyond the limits of my man-made self-concept into the broad expanse of eternity. There was no more fear of rejection, exposure or inadequacy. I could now lose myself in service, for I had found myself in Christ.
Suffice it to say, I see now as I have never seen before; I know now as I have never known before; and I feel now as I have never felt before. I enjoy a dimension of closeness with the Lord and priesthood power that I had never known before. Indeed, my relationship with the Father, my Savior and the Holy Ghost is so personal, so deep, so rich in meaning that I am led to sing the song of redeeming love continually to all who have ears to hear.
To those who read my testimony I plead with all of my heart, come unto Christ and find peace to your soul. Come unto Christ and be freed from all your sins and from the physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual effects of those sins. Come unto Christ that He might show your weaknesses unto you and help you make weak things strong. Come unto Christ and receive your salvation and the assurance of your exaltation, together with a release from the cares of the world and the burden of your troubles.
I testify in the name of Jesus Christ that these words which I have written are true in fact, in precept and in spirit, notwithstanding the weaknesses of my pen.
I testify with all of my soul that God lives; that Jesus Christ is our personal Savior and Redeemer and that we can arrive at a point in this life where the reality of the Atonement is the greatest reality of our life; where we can know the Savior better than we know anyone else; that He can have a more profound influence on our life than the combined influence of everyone else.
I testify that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only true church of Christ on the face of the earth. I testify that Joseph Smith is the Prophet of the Restoration and that the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Prophet, Seer and Revelator for the Lord on the earth today. I testify that the Book of Mormon is the word of God and that a person can draw closer to God by living its precepts than by living the precepts of any other book. I testify that the Holy Bible is also the word of God as far as it is translated correctly and that the Doctrine and Covenants and Pearl of Great Price are also Holy Scripture. And I testify that the General Authorities of the Church are called of God. I sustain and support them and all priesthood leaders throughout the Church with all my heart.
I testify that those who have been purified and made righteous and holy by the blood of Christ through sanctification, or spiritual rebirth, are the sons and daughters of Christ and of God. These are they who have taken upon themselves the name of Christ and who are then endowed with the keys of power through the ordinances of the holy temple to perform miracles in the name of Christ. These are they who enjoy the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, who receive daily revelation from the Lord, who receive visions, dreams and visitations from holy angels. These are they who open the heavens and receive the mysteries of godliness and the visions of eternity, who are taught doctrine from holy angels who read from the books of lost scripture unto their minds. These are they who know how to ask and receive answers to their prayers and who send angels to bless the lives of the needy. These are they who know how to receive the blessings of God and obtain the blessings of heaven and earth through the keys of prayer. These are they who understand doctrine from the mouths of angels and who heal the sick and prophesy in the name of the Lord. These are they who have a lively hope in Christ and the assurance that their lives are hid in Christ, that they shall obtain the fulness of the blessings of the Priesthood. These are they who have the seed of Christ planted in their souls and who have been endowed with charity, even the very gift and power of God unto salvation, the gift that plants the seed of Christ in the souls of men and women. These are they who look forward with perfect assurance to the glorious day when they shall make their calling and election sure, i.e., when they shall obtain the unconditional promise of their inheritance as heirs of the Father; when they shall then receive the Second Comforter with a holy embrace and, through Him, the Name of God, or key word of all power and authority. These are they who have the promise that they shall receive the fulness of the Father. These are they who continually work out their salvation with fear and trembling, repenting daily to retain a remission of their sins.
These are the blessings of the sanctified, of those who have been truly born again or baptized by fire. These are the blessings that every humble man or woman can enjoy, according to the order of their creation, if they will come unto Christ, repent fully of their sins, receive and keep the ordinances of the gospel and exercise mightily the prayer of faith until the day of their redemption is come.
I testify that all these words are true and that, if you have not already received them, all of these rich and glorious blessings can be yours if you truly open your mind and heart to the Lord and come unto Him in meekness, humility and the spirit of total submissiveness to His will.
May I, in conclusion, humbly affirm with all the sincerity of my heart, that my knowledge of these things which I have written comes not only from the testimonies of the prophets and not only from personal revelation and the words of God and His angels to my mind and heart, but also from the reality of personal experience, a reality that I do not impose upon others and claim for myself alone; a reality which is confirmed in my life by the physical and spiritual senses of my soul and by the ratifying seal of the Holy Ghost. Of this I so testify in the name of my Savior and Redeemer, even Jesus Christ, Amen"