THE MOST SPIRITUAL EVENT OF MY LIFE - LOSING MY SON TO SIDS

Most posts to this blog are of a second coming nature - not personal - but this one was so huge and so impacting to me, I have to add something about it. This is a work in progress as I have more time. I literally could write a book on what my wife and I went through and still not get through it all.

On April 4th, 2002 at approx. 1:45am, our lives were changed forever when our little Dallin Jacob Wood was called home to prepare for what most of us will probably go through in our lifetimes. The massive influx of people into the Spirit World as the world goes through the massive upheavals that are soon to be upon us. While we are organized here and have much work to do for our temporal salvation, there is much that is going on "over there" that requires manpower, organization, and direction. This "seed blog entry" will get rather enormous as time goes on. I had an old friend from Facebook mention that her mother had died - a truly wonderful woman whose time it simply was to go home for a purpose few of us here might understand. Here is a note that I sent her:

Vicki,
I was sorry to hear about your mother. Without regular contact, I just assumed Victor and your mother were living out their lives. I saw your dad was on FB. I am sure it simply was her time to go - there is so much more going on over there than we can imagine. The work to redeem the human family is massive and accelerating beyond our comprehension as the millennium approaches.
I will not force it on you - and would be more than happy to pop a copy of that book (Life Everlasting) I mentioned in the mail - but it is a most amazing work. Death is really just a change of state to a greater and more exciting part of the adventure of our eternal life. Just let me know if you are interested in the book. Like I said, it is so good that I keep loaners around for interested people.
Yes, our little guy was called home around 9 months old and it really was supposed to happen. I was actually supposed to go home that year that he was taken home - and had known that since a few months before I came home from my mission. My wife just brushed me off as crazy when I turned 33 and would not follow my advice to seek out a life insurance policy big enough to take care of her and the kids if I were taken (her own father was taken in the Vietnam war and Shawna and her mother were left with few options). Notwithstanding the fact she didn't take me seriously, my wife had a premonition of impending death two weeks before Dallin's death and was literally allowed to choose that it not be me who was sent home on errand. Maybe a little hard to comprehend, but a true statement. My Grandpa Matheson, the old Cedar City Stake Patriarch was calling the shots from the other side and needed help. Off the charts wild - but we had three independent people in our family that had simultaneous manifestations within a day or two that confirmed it. I had an incredible 2 yr. mission by any stretch - similar to John H. Groberg's - but losing our little guy was THE most spiritually affirming thing that has ever happened to me/us. It was pretty hard on the oldest two kids, though. They were too young to fully comprehend what was going on.
I run a blog that has some pretty wild stuff like this in it and I just have not had the time to get the whole scenario down - but at some point, I will blog all of the incredible things that happened to us. I can honestly say that I know that God lives and there is an entire "situation" around us that most people simply do not comprehend or have an awareness of. The veil was very thin for months after he crossed over.
Anyway, sorry to get so deep but I just have to pass on the hope and insight I have gained.
Thanks for sharing about your mother - I wasn't sure if it would be polite to ask in a public forum.

Eric.

Here is a wonderful quote by Joseph Smith on the death of a loved one:

I think this quote sums this little guy's life up,
"The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning, we have reason to rejoice, as they are delivered from evil and we shall soon have them again. The only difference between the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven in eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Notwithstanding all this glory, we for a moment, lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope (through Christ).
Joseph Smith.

Here is a poem my wife composed about our little Dallin Jacob:

I like to look for songbirds and hear their melody,
For my heart turns to a sweet boy, who God once gave to me.
He filled our life with miracles, the very day he came.
He blessed our lives with sunshine; we'll never be the same.

I like to look for songbirds. He loved their melody.
He'd often look up heavenward--their flight path just to see.
And gazing deep into our eyes, he seemed to be so wise,
Yet he was so cute and playful, and tender were his cries...

And then our little songbird, he needed to take flight--
His flightpath leading heavenbound--it happened in the night.
Our soul was filled with rainclouds, our tears fell to the earth,
Only eight months and twenty days, since his day of birth.

We looked to God to understand, for we do not know why.
We place our trust in God who knows, why Dallin had to die.
But there is restoration, thanks be to God's own son.
And earth life is preparation, for the eternal one.

A time to learn all the things that God wants me to know.
A time to prove my faith in Christ as I progress and grow.
And without earth life's own sorrow, I could not know the joy,
This truth I must remember, whene'er I miss my boy.

I'm thankful to my Father in heaven up above,
Who for me, one of his children, has such mercy and love.
How difficult and,oh, so hard, to offer up His Son,
That death and sin be trampled, in the battle that was won.

I'm thankful to my Savior, who won that war for me,
That I may return to Father, and live eternally.
I know my Savior rose again, and death He overcame,
Showing by his example, that I, too, will rise the same.

And spirit joined with body, I too will conquer death,
And witness this great miracle, inhaling once more breath.
To this end was my Savior born, So I could follow Him,
Back home as pure as snow again, to reunite with them.

Their gift to me, eternal life, as I accept their will.
My gift to them a change of heart, Christ's power is so real.
I want to follow him and be the best that I can be,
Because my Savior loves me, and paid the price for me.

by Shawna

Over time, this piece will grow. Please check back in six months for more updates.

DREAMS AND VISIONS OF THE LAST DAYS VERY INTERESTING BOOK - I JUST ORDERED VOLUME II-

Dreams and Visions Vol. 1 - Special Edition

I AM INTO READING WHAT IS OUT THERE AND GLEANING WHAT I CAN FROM IT....

Dreams & Visions of the Last Days - Special Edition

Author: Roger K. Young
Publication Date: Oct. 2008
Format: 8.5 x 11, 236 Pages

Enhanced and Expanded with all the contents of Dreams & Visions Volume one PLUS...
New Unpublished Dreams & Visions from Roger's personal files.
Never before published personal commentary by Roger K. Young on many of the dreams.
The full contents of "To Your Tents O' Israel" to complete the presentation of the "Tent City" concept.

Note from Roger K. Young..

Christopher has been after me to add my personal commentary on the Dreams and Vision book for some tim nowe. Finally, I have added approximately 30 pages of additional material which includes commentary on almost all of the dreams and visions in the book, several additional dreams and visions which have influenced me greatly, my analysis and time frame associated with the Texas vision and other materials. Additionally, I have combined the time frames and sequences of the dreams and visions in this book into a new general timeline sequence.

This volume also contains ‘TO YOUR TENTS O ISRAEL" which is in essence a commentary on the idea and prophecies concerning Tent Cities which is introduced in Dreams & Visions.





Dreams & Visions of the Last Days

PURPOSE of Dreams and Visions (from Roger)

The purpose and intent of this book is actually very simple. It is to perhaps convince a few more people to follow the living Prophet a little more closely, and to prepare themselves and their families for the events which lie in the (near?) future by preparing Spiritually (getting temple recommends and using them often), Physically (obtain a minimum one year supply of food, clothing, shelter and other necessities), and Mentally. And as part of this preparation to perhaps come to understand some of the events that they will likely have to pass through. Elder Oaks recently in the April 2004 General Conference encouraged all members of the Church throughout the world to “accelerate our own preparation and try to influence the preparation of those around us.” This is a small effort to comply with that counsel.

Dreams and Visions of the Last Days

Chapter 1, WHY?
Chapter 2, NOBODY KNOWS
Chapter 3, DREAMS AND VISIONS
Chapter 4, EARLY CHURCH VISIONS & PROPHECIES 180 YEARS AGO
Chapter 5, DREAMS & VISIONS FROM 80-100 YEARS AGO
Chapter 6, DREAMS & VISIONS FROM 30-60 YEARS AGO
Chapter 7, RECENT DREAMS & VISIONS
Chapter 8, SUMMARY & CONCLUSION

The following is an Excerpt from the first few pages of Chapter 1, and is offered to give you a taste of what is contained in this new book.....

CHAPTER I, WHY?

? WHY IS IT that over the last few years our beloved living prophet, President Hinckley, along with members of the Quorum of the Twelve and other General Authorities have continued emphasizing the nearness of the last days along with spiritual and physical preparation for those events? To list a few:

* President Hinckley, Oct 1998 General Conference, “To the Boys and Men”
* President Hinckley Oct General Conference 2001, “The Times In Which We Live”
* Jan 2002 First Presidency letter on food storage directing the obtaining of 1 year minimum food storage to be taught in every stake, district, ward and branch throughout the world.
* Feb 2002 President Packer letter ...(Including food storage emphasis for stake conference Saturday Evening Sessions)
* Jan 2003 World Wide Relief Society Visiting Teaching Message: “If Ye Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear”
* President Hinckley, April 2003 General Conference, “War and Peace”
* President Packer...BYU J. Reuben Clark Law Society Devotional,"On the Shoulders of Giants” 2/28/2004"
* Elder Oaks, April 2004 General conference...”Preparation For The Second Coming”
* President Hinckley, April 2004 General Conference “I Was an Hungered, and Ye Gave Me Meat”
* Elder Eyring...Jan 25, 2005 BYU-Idaho Devotional, “Raise The Bar”
* Elder Wirthlin...Oct 2005 General conference, “Journey To Higher Ground”
* President Hinckley ...Oct 2005 General Conference, “If Ye Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear”

It is interesting to note that prior to his call as Prophet, President Hinckley rarely talked about food storage or events of the 2nd coming/last days. However, since 1998 he has emphasized both those subjects continually. In the Priesthood session of General Conference 1998 he surprised everyone when he read from the story of Joseph in Egypt, Pharaoh’s vision of the fat and lean cattle and its interpretation of seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine and then said, “...I am suggesting that the time has come to get our houses in order... The economy is a fragile thing... There is a portent of stormy weather ahead to which we had better give heed....I urge you, brethren, to look to the condition of your finances. I urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt to the extent possible. Pay off debt as quickly as you can, and free yourselves from bondage...This is a part of the temporal gospel in which we believe. May the Lord bless you, my beloved brethren, to set your houses in order... That's all I have to say about it, but I wish to say it with all the emphasis of which I am capable.” A few weeks later the stock market lost over 1000 points in a few days.

After the attacks on Sept 11, 2001 President Hinckley talked extensively about the last days, quoting from Matthew 24 and D&C 112:24, and preparing for the terrible events of the last days by getting out of debt and getting a years supply of food storage. Three months later the First Presidency issued another letter to the world wide church membership emphasizing food storage...including for the very first time ever, an outline of a bare minimum food storage per person. (This talk is in the Appendix.)

Seven years later, almost to the day, in another General Priesthood session (Oct 2005), in a talk entitled, If Ye Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear, President Hinckley again mentioned Pharaoh’s dream of the seven good years followed by the seven lean years, twice...and emphasized again food storage, getting out of debt, and spiritual preparation. He also read from Matthew 24 as well as other scriptures about terrible calamities and destructions. He concluded by saying, “Let us never lose sight of the dream of Pharaoh concerning the fat cattle and the lean, the full ears of corn, and the blasted ears; the meaning of which was interpreted by Joseph to indicate years of plenty and years of scarcity. (This talk is included in the Appendix.)

There have been more talks on the last days, spiritual and physical preparation (including obtaining one year food storage, listening to the spirit better, temple attendance) over the last 6 years, by the Church leadership than ever before. Additionally, it includes the first time ever that the Church officially outlined a minimum of a one year supply of food that every member of the Church should obtain. Again, one might ask the question, “Why?” Are they trying to tell us something and perhaps too many of us are not listening? Perhaps President Benson answered that question when he said to the Church membership:

“Too often we bask in our comfortable complacency and rationalize that the ravages of war, economic disaster, famine, and earthquake cannot happen here. Those who believe this are either not acquainted with the revelations of the Lord, or they do not believe them. Those who smugly think these calamities will not happen, that they somehow will be set aside because of the righteousness of the Saints, are deceived and will rue the day they harbored such a delusion. The Lord has warned and forewarned us against a day of great tribulation and given us counsel, through His servants, on how we can be prepared for these difficult times. Have we heeded His counsel?”

I have been told by many that this book is probably too late, anyway, and it won’t do much good. But, never-the-less, here it is. I have contemplated publishing this book for several years. Only recently have I made the decision to do so in the hope that it might perhaps convince a few more members of the Church that very dangerous, chaotic dark times are just ahead...perhaps within a very few short years (even though the Savior’s actual return to the earth might be many years away), and that they need to prepare for these events both spiritually (attending the temple often, among other things) and physically (getting at least a basic one year supply of food and other necessities.) In essence, I believe that President Hinckley’s continued emphasis on preparation over the last few years is for a reason. I also believe that the recent catastrophic natural calamities, which appear to be increasing in frequency and destructive strength, (as prophesied) are but heralds to the real reason for a one year minimum supply of food and necessities, that of a period of at least one year of sudden, complete famine in the land. Which has also been prophesied.

Unfortunately, it has been my personal experience that often those who disagree about the need to prepare (often declaring that it’s too far away to worry about) will go to great pains to denounce such a book like this, declaring that people like me have no authority to write about such things since we are not a general authority of the Church nor a trained CES employee. (Yes, I have actually been told that only LDS Church General Authorities, BYU Professors, or CES employees should write such books.) And yet even as recent as April 2004 conference, Elder Oaks encouraged all members of the Church to “accelerate our own preparation and try to influence the preparation of those around us.”

Interestingly enough, I have learned over the past almost 15 years of teaching food storage and preparation that the topic of preparation itself has increasingly become a “topic of controversy,” especially when tied in with needing such preparation in order to survive some of the events of the 2nd Coming of Jesus Christ. Many Church members, including a few ward and stake leaders, don’t want to discuss it or even hear about it...and over the last few years have become strikingly opposed to its discussion. Often giving the reason that the topic “upset too many members.”

This is not uncommon. President Joseph Fielding Smith complained several times that even during his day the members of the Church didn’t want to hear about the events of the last days. Forty years ago he said:

“President Wilford Woodruff and the Prophet Joseph Smith declared that it was their duty and should be the duty of every righteous man to raise the warning voice and proclaim the fact that these calamities are at our doors, and I have been condemned because I have done that. I heard one good man say, "There are too many good things to think about without talking about these troubles, these plagues, or worrying about the coming of the Lord." Here is what the Lord says in Section 45 of the Doctrine and Covenants, verses 39 to 43.

"And it shall come to pass that he that feareth me shall be looking forth for the great day of the Lord to come, even for the signs of the coming of the Son of Man.
"And they shall see signs and wonders, for they shall be shown forth in the heavens above, and in the earth beneath.
"And they shall behold blood, and fire, and vapors of smoke.”

“Now, when the Lord says that, don't you think I am justified in raising my voice and do you think I am doing wrong when I am (warning about) watching the signs of the times and these calamities and troubles that are coming? Am I doing wrong? And yet one good brother said, “Too many things to do. We haven't time to worry about the coming of Christ.” Now, here is something from President Brigham Young:

"Do you think there is calamity abroad now among the people?…All we have yet heard and all we have experienced is scarcely a preface to the sermon that is going to be preached. When the testimony of the Elders ceases to be given, and the Lord says to them, 'come home; I will now preach My own sermons to the nations of the earth,' all you now know can scarcely be called a preface to the sermon that will be preached with fire and sword, tempests, earthquakes, hail, rain, thunders, and lightnings and fearful destruction. What matters the destruction of a few railway cars? You will hear of magnificent cities, now idolized by the people, sinking in the earth, entombing the inhabitants. The sea will heave itself beyond its bounds, engulfing mighty cities. Famine will spread over the nations, and nation will rise up against nation, kingdom against kingdom, and states against states, in our own country and in foreign lands; and they will destroy each other, caring not for the blood and lives of their neighbors, of their families, or for their own lives. They will be like the Jaredites who preceded the Nephites upon this continent, and will destroy each other to the last man, through the anger that the devil will place in their hearts, because they have rejected the words of life and are given over to Satan to do whatever he listeth to do with them. You may think that the little you hear of now is grievous; yet the faithful of God's people will see days that will cause them to close their eyes because of the sorrow that will come upon the wicked nations. The hearts of the faithful will be filled with pain and anguish for them."

“Why is the Lord angry? Why are all these things coming upon the world? President Young said in this article that I read and the Lord says in the revelations I have read to you, it is because they have turned away from the Gospel of Jesus Christ, because they have rebelled against God, and because they have refused to hear the testimony of those who have been sent to preach the Gospel to them. That is why. They have rejected the message. The nations are full of iniquity.”

Another reason for publishing this book is that over the last few years there have been a few who have taught and written contrary to the teachings of the current and past Prophets and Apostles that we need not worry about such preparations at this time. They teach that the 2nd Coming of the Savior is 50-100 years away, often using the excuse that fulfillment of ‘missionary work to the whole world’ prophecies indicate that this is so. It is the “all is well in Zion” belief and is specifically mentioned in the scriptures. (2nd Nephi 28)

However, it is my belief that very shortly the world and society we know will drastically and suddenly change. The time is shortly coming which has been prophesied and seen in dreams and visions since the world began. The material contained in this book is one of the reasons I believe that this is so. However, the reader is presented with the material herein, so that they may consider and ponder and make up their own mind.

====

To Your Tents O Israel. A scriptual basis for prophetic places of refuge in the last days.

“Great and grand as is this people, mighty as are the works that have been accomplished through the blessings of God through his servants in these days, there is too little real prayer among the Latter-day Saints, too many prayerless homes, and hence the spread of spiritual contagion among some of us. Thank the Lord not among many, relatively speaking. I have faith in my people, for I knew that they are the Lord's people, and I am proud to be one of them; but when the cry shall come, as come it shall: "To your tents, O Israel," for there are struggles ahead, the Lord knows where to find those who have been faithful. “
James E. Talmage

FORWARD
As a young missionary in Chile in 1973, after a night of being able to preach the gospel to a large group of potential investigators, I was recording in my journal the details of that wonderful opportunity. As I was feeling the strong spirit that had been present and was still present as I was writing, all of a sudden the veil grew thin and among other things I saw long streams of people in the desert, some in vehicles, but many walking with mostly what they could carry in their arms. I saw that the area they were coming to was just South and West of St. George, Utah. I watched as a city of tents near St. George began to be quickly established in peace and tranquility. I puzzled over this in my mind wondering what was going on. I was given to understand that they were primarily fleeing from the Los Angeles area and were called to come there by the Church leaders. I was given to understand several things concerning the event, including that they were invited to leave just prior to something very bad which was about to happen, suddenly and in the near future to that area. I also understood that most members of the Church did not heed the invitation to come and would perish because of what was coming. All of this and other details I dutifully recorded in my journal.

For many years afterward, every once in a while I puzzled over what I had seen and recorded, but for the most part it lay forgotten while the matters of life occupied my time. A few years ago, while I was beginning to give firesides and lectures concerning the events of the last days, a number of people began sharing with me their own personal dreams and visions. After a while I started hearing a few of the people describe in their visions & dreams almost exactly the same things that I had seen in my brief vision. I then began to research more into the Saints fleeing at a moment’s notice to remote places of refuge where they usually lived in temporary tent encampments for a period of time. Some of the questions I was primarily asking were; Are there many historical examples of this type of event that might shed light on this possibly happening in the last days? Are there any prophecies or statements possibly describing this type of event? This short book is a brief review of the historical and scriptural traditional research concerning this type of event.

As I researched I came to understand that there actually was a historical pattern of righteousness, prosperity, division, apostasy and then the fleeing of a righteous few to remote places of refuge. I also found that instead of this happening occasionally, this had actually happened in every single instance of the establishment of a righteous society throughout the history of the world. Sometimes this cycle was delayed or interrupted by a....

PURPOSE

Currently, the command of the Lord is to physically gather to the Stakes of Zion wherever they are located. However, previously, the command was to gather out from the world to a certain location or locations as directed by the living prophet of that time. It is important to note that in almost every instance of this command to gather, one of the major reasons, if not THE major reason, was to gather together for safety.

This book is dedicated to the personal belief that sometime in the very near future (within a few years perhaps) there will possibly come a call from the Prophet of the Church (the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve), through the proper priesthood channels, to the members of the Church to voluntarily gather to remote places of refuge to escape some impending catastrophic events. Many of these places of refuge, but not all, will be primarily located in and around the Rocky Mountains. It will not be by commandment (as in “thou shalt”), but it will be an invitation to gather in a time of burgeoning adversity.

I believe that initially, such an invitation would come during a time of increasing widespread financial/depression like conditions, (increasing unemployment, loss of houses and personal property, scarcity of food, power outages, social disruption) but before such conditions become “desperate” and will precede by a few months or perhaps by as much as a year or more....

TABLE OF CONTENTS

FORWARD

PURPOSE

CHAPTER 1
Historical Patterns
The Repeating Cycle
The Prophicies of the Apostacy
A vision of the Plagues

CHAPTER 2
The gospel principle(s) behind the cycle of Tent Cities
A false assumption
Conclusion

CHAPTER 3
What are the prophesied catastrophic events that might cause such a gathering for safety
A blessed land or a cursed land

CHAPTER 4
Another principle at work....
The great false assumption #2
The First Principle
The Second Principle
What about the Law of Mercy?
A Key Message For Us In The Parable of the Ten Virgins

CHAPTER 5
Noah and The Ark, a type and a shadow of our Dilemma

CHAPTER 6
Common questions
A five year old’s dream of Tent City Temple
Tent City Temple Impression

CHAPTER 7
Opposing questions & concerns
Examples from the Nauvoo Years
Joseph Smith's Lament
What does preparation hurt?
The farm hand who could sleep through anything





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WOW - DREAMS OF THE LAST DAYS

If this gal is anywhere close to reality, we are pretty much toast!

My heartfelt apologies for the length. You'll have to save this one for when you've got an extra hour.

I participate in a few LDS-centric last days groups. Some I left a few years ago because I never felt the Spirit there or gained anything. Recently, however, they had a new member join who refuses to identify herself or provide an email address. She only communicates via the groups. She claims some pretty detailed dreams and that she's never been allowed to share it until now. Her posts have generated quite a lot of activity and buzz on those sites, re-energizing them. For whatever they're worth, I've collected them (warts, spelling errors and all) and pasted them below for your consideration, rejection, insight, etc.

Some are a bit out of context because I posted only her replies to questions, but I think you'll get the drift.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
herendair         to Last-Days-Even. 2/16/05 (4 days ago)

Hi Alva, in response to yours and DOCS request, I feel I should Share a few things. First of all, I'm rarely allowed to do this. As I prayed about it, I feel that I do need to share these things now. Recently I have been shown that events have been "moved up". I have never been given timelines in the past, as agency is such a deciding factor as to the timing of events. Often what I have been shown has not always been in a particualar order. I do know things arent going to happen all at once. The first big event I was Shown was an earthquake along the Wasatch front,It was an 8.3, possibly up to an 8.6 And it began in SLC, right at the temple, oddly little was dammaged there,This part reminds me of a scripture, but I dont know the reference, it says..." at my house shall it begin"? This earthquake causes massive damage and death,I think its in late summer. I saw, both the deer creek and jordonelle dams break taking out cars houses etc... in its path, trees and water rocks and debri everywhere. In provo streets were so broken up there was fires, broken water pipes, and gas mains People died from the large glass shards from the Nuskin building as its windows broke. In Salt Lake I saw the mall across from temple square, gangs everywhere, people living in the parking garage with little fires to keep warm, people were dying in the streets, I saw one doctor with tears in his eyes, look up from his work in the street, he was completely overwhelmed at the mass of dead and dieing. A Hospital made of red brick on the east bench of SLC collapsed, It was the entire north wing that went.By where the old salt palace used to be, I also saw the north end of the structure collapse into rubble. I don't know salt lake very well but It was near symphony hall and I think the Delta center. At this point I saw blood running in the streets, it was Horrible. I watched a great big crack open up on the west end of the great salt lake and the lake poured into it. I also saw the refinery stacks on the south of the lake topple over, the lake was burning. People everywhere were homeless, the government set up shelters at hill air force base, and camp williams, micron, and lots of other places, DONT EVER GO TO THOSE !!!!!!! they become death camps I wached people get the mark of the beast there. It was just like the old small pox vaccine, a little white gun, they put them in the persons right hand then entered personal info on the person into a computer then scanned it just like at the supermarket. In the bacek corner I saw a small groutp of decenters they had on blue jumpsuits.. the others were a kind of orange color. I watched them strap the decentors on a gurney and put the mark in their fore head as a sign to everyone of their rebellion. I could go on and on. this is only the very beginning, while these things were happening in Utah the rest of the country was having violent weather and soon things went to marshal law. this post is waaay long. I'll share more as I can, but perhaps specific questions would be better than relating the whole book.

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Gentile Man         to Last-Days-Even. 2/16/05 (4 days ago)

Herendair:

I also have seen a massive earthquake in SLC. It was so big I expected the Conference center to go down but it didn't. When I asked where the quake was centered I was given the answer "California".

I fear that at least one of the major quakes that many have seen hitting Utah is actually a California quake that is so massive that it still hits SLC at an 8 to 9 magnitude.

Did you ever ask where the quake(s) you have seen were centered? Just comparing notes...


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allenjulie_85236         to Last-Days-Even. 2/17/05 (3 days ago)

I have been a lurker for many months but this subject has caused me to come out in the open. My Last Days physical preparation are as follows.

Fuel: Six 20-gallon propane bottles used on a natural gas oven/stove that has been converted to propane. This propane has a mechanical thermostat for the oven. Many natural gas/propane ovens these days have electric thermostats which are worthless if the power goes out. Each propane bottle will operate the stove for our family of five approximately 2 to 3 months.

I used to have stored 300 gallons of diesel fuel for our six VW diesel Rabbits but I kept having problems with water getting in the fuel because the storage containers I used were purchased because of price rather than functionality. I should have spent a little more money and bought the right storage containers in the first place. VW made the diesel Rabbits between 1978 and 1984. I drive Rabbit diesels for several reasons.

1. They are easy to work on and I can do all the maintenance myself. 2 They have mechanical fuel injection rather than electronic. No computers, so I don't have to take them to the dealer for interogation of the computer codes. 3. Parts are still plentiful and cheaper than every foreign car currently manufactured. 4. They get 45 to 50 MPG 5. Diesel fuel is easier to store than gasoline. 6. During a nuclear attack, the EMP (Electro Magnetic Pulse) generated by the blast will fry any transitor and diode not "hardened" against such attacks. (The military's computers are hardened against EMP.) Any computer controlled device will cease to operate; such as personal computers, power stations, ATM's, all modern cars, city water supply systems and gas stations. Diesel Rabbits have no computer controlled ignition or injection. These vehicles should still run after a nuclear attack. My next project is to purchase a hose and battery operated electric pump that could be mounted to my diesel Rabbit pickup. Since gas stations will no longer operate after a attack, I want to be able to pull up to a gas station, insert my hose into the underground tanks and pump either diesel or gas out of them.

Food: My food storage will last approximately 2 years. It is a mixture of both wet and dry food from the Church Cannery, canned goods from Costco and Safeway, MRE's, and Ama-Ama Products. Most of my wheat and dry goods is in #10 cans rather than plastic buckets. Cans are easier to handle than buckets. I used to have all my dry goods in buckets but they would crack, the seals would go bad or they would collaspe if I put too much dry ice in them.

I have picked up MRE's because during a diaster, you will be under a lot of stress and time will be at a premium. The last thing you will have time for is to spend several hours a day preparing meals. MRE's can be eaten cold or can be warmed up in a few minutes in boiling water.

To gind the wheat I have a grinder (purchased from Lehman's) that is hand operated, however, it can be motorized as well. The Lehman's wheat grinder has a large flywheel on it that the handle attaches to, with a groove cut into it for the motor drive belt. The heavy flywheel, once it is moving is easier to keep turning than a unit without one. The handle is long enough that two people could grasp and turn it.


Medicine: My wife has collected several herbal remedies to naturally treat various maladies. Cayene pepper, garlic oil, Colloidal Silver, several types of essentials oils: peppermint, "Thieves", oregano, cinammon, lavender and a few others. She also collected several remedies from Dr. Richard Shulze (Intestional Formula #1) and Dr. John Christopher (herbal salves). Both of them are herbalists. I am starting to stock up on some alternate remedies such as "Solutions ie". I would like to get some Homeopathic remedies as well


Water: We have 1500 gallons of water in four 275 gallon containers and the rest in 55-gallon plastic drums with a hand pump to get the water out. I want to get one of those "Big Berky" or Berky Light", gravity feed water filters. They don't need water pressure. You pour contaminated water in the top; it percolates down through the filters and is collected at the bottom, purifed and drinkable.


Communication: I've been able to get a HAM radio license and radios that will operate on VHF, UHF and HF bands. However, a nuclear attack will fry them so I'm thinking that when an attack seems imminent, I could store my radios in an insulated metal box in my basement that was well grounded and that might protect them. However, if everyone else's radios were fried, I wonder who would I communicate with? I would like to acquire some deep-cycle 12 volt batteries, an inverter and some solar panels. The batteries could be used to run the radios and could be charged with the solar panels. The inverter could be connected to the batteries to run small power tools like a drill motor or a saw. You always need to drill a hole or cut a board.

Books: The books in my library cover a number of subjects: Scriptures, Constitution, Herbal remedies, medicinal plants in the Southwest and Rocky Mountains, detailed repair manuals for all my cars, HAM radios, organic gardening. I want to acquire books on such things as building a forge, making steel and other kinds of basic skills that nobody know anymore.

Clothing: A few months ago I attended a "Winter Without Worries" class taught by Jim Phillips in St. George. He teaches you that the best material to make winter clothing out of is polyurethane foam covered with breathable fabric on both sides. I won't go into the details now but it really works. Jim has quite a large collection of actual military tests that show how the foam works much better than anything commerically available. We have made a couple of sleeping bags out of it and some long underwear for my wife. We have enough foam on hand to make clothing and sleeping bags for each member of our family.

Tents: I have acquired a 12 by 15 foot canvas wall tent with a rain fly and a canopy. It has two screened doors and two screened windows with storm flaps on all of them.


I still have many little things to pick up and I probably will never be fully prepared, however, the most important preparation is be in tune with the Holy Spirit. He will guide you in what preparations to make, whether large or small.

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first to answer a few questions: The first earthqyake was in the late summer, The grass was yellowish, I do believe it was fall. In all I saw 4 very significant earthquakes,with alot of smaller ones in between. The first two were within 1-2 years of each other, I think.. as I have said these things were not always given in a particualr order, but as I've been shown them again and again, I've kind of figured it out. It was I believe the Delta center that collapsed on the north side. I did see the conference center in tact after the quake, with just some clean up. The SL temple had only minor dammage, In the Provo temple, I watched the flowers in the celsetial room fall and the vase broke, but the dammage was minimal, mostly clean up. That surprised me cause the rocks behind the temple in rock canyon were rolling everywhere. I also saw the Jordon river temple They quickly got the people out in an orderly fashion, they gathered outside on the lawn. Redwood road was surprisingly one of the safer places to be when things got rough, not as many gangs there. After this first quake I saw alot of the wasatch front evacuate southward to the valley by Manti.It was completely full of tents, both army tents and others, most were green with an odd color mixed in here and there, that valley was full of people... some even finding shelter in the turkey barns they have there. The Government provided alot of supplys at that time. The people there were able to have what they needed and it was a safe place. I saw a young man in the back of a pick up truck in Spanish Fork, He was talking to crowds of people, and convinced them to move southward to safety, alot followed him and went to Nephi.He had an old man helping him that was retired military, with grey hair, this man was good at organizing the people. The marshal law hadn't taken over fully, till the people were in the relocation camps and had the Mark of the beast. At one point I saw the President of the US sign a secret treastie with russia and china,I don't know if that has already happened or not. Two men stood behind the pres. dressed in black, they were representing these two nations. they mocked him and the US behind his back... but there was someone else behind them that was even darker. I knew at that point our country had been sold down the river. I also was told this was part of the plan for the new world order that the dark ones wanted. At the beginning of things I did see an economic down spiral... this has already started. I did see some people begin to rebuild after the first earthquake, but the second one came too soon after for things to really get back to normal. The second quake was enormous...10.0 in the desert, in Utah we felt it as a 9.3.. it started in the California-nevada desert areas. As I went back over my journals this was when the stacks on the south end of the Great salt lake fell and the big crack in the salt flats opened up I saw water spewing up in the middle of the Lake like a giser. Just a Note here, Just recently I was shown the cause of the first earthquake... I saw an explosion at the botton of the ocean between Austrailia and Hawaii, I watched the sand implode almost, being sucked into a large hole... this caused a chain reaction as a crack opened up following the fault along the ring of fire. I could see lava glowing in some of the cracks...this went right up into Alaska, then down into washington. I was told "this is what awakens Mt. Raineer.I watched as the inner areas of the ocean floor within the ring of fire all dropped. Then the plates began moving towards the center of the ocean. Ths effected alot of homes in Cal. on the coast. They started slipping, it also caused alot of Tidal waves... I think this event just happened... And I won't say what caused the initial explosion on the oceans floor, but I can say it was man made.


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Rarely in the past have I been allowed to share these things, But I know now that time is running out, and people need to get prepared. I believe that is why I am being allowed to share at this time. I was recently given a firmer time line, and I know these things have begun. Note that I was told that the following could change a year or so in either direction, sooner or later. 1. Oct-Nov 2007 First E.Q. 8.6 watch for 3.0's along wasatch front, and good crops in previous year. 2. Nov 2008 Elect new president, economic collapse. 3. April -may 2009 second big E.Q./ fema comes and takes food. this is time to go into hiding. 4. 2009 1/2 Concentration camps, mark of beast..all must accept or become fugatives, Volcanos increase everywhere, marshal law permanent. 5. 2009 1/2 Russia, China invade from all borders. 6. 2011 third big quake,(don't know magnitude) Lots of people escape camps... 7. 2011 1/3 First nuke in Cal- Nev desert.Hits underground nuke, double explosion. leaves only islands from oregon down into arizona. 8. Burning Hailstones destoy almost everything. 9. 2012 massive asteroid hits pacific ocean.knocks off axis of earths rotation. polar caps melt. Massive flooding, U.S divided by mass of water from great lakes to gulf. major storms, winds,cold.

Utah becomes semi tropical.later, land masses move, world against israel. 4th quake happens...cant say rest....

All of this is conditional on the agency of man and his choices, as men change for good, things can be avoided. And time frames changed As mens choices increase in iniquity, I beleive these things could come Sooner and be even worse.

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I've been praying constantly, this morning I was given so much more...Here it is: Per the biological attacks... there are 4 main ones... two are currently in place and spreading world wide 1. is tha Avian flu- sars epidemic, I belive these two are engineered and of the same make up. 2.mad cow, waisting disease. apperantly the tests that are being done are even causing this in remote areas, even in the wild. Our food chain is contaminated... even the vegies, with bio engineering. 3.flu to come, this one is the worst and we will see it comming a little at a time. This is engineered from technology from the hitler era. And is a derivative from the 1918 spanish flu. This thing will be like the black plague was in Europe. The current things they are doing to weaken our imunne systems arent working fast enough (look to the skys).In fact many people are developing a resistance.. so now we get flu vaccine to speed up the process. Thats why there was a shortage this year... everyone panicked and ran to get theirs. 4. This just looks like more flu but is deliberatly released in major cities. I feel it has begun and will increase gradually. The main lab involved in this is based in NYC or near there, and has other labs involved world wide. I heard the words "Allutech" when I saw these labs.

Next I was shown a new "nycean counsil" taking place, this was counsil of very dark men...an unlucky # of them determining what the new world religion would be.Then Ot was voted on inthe U.N. headquarters. There are so many power hungry dark factions world wide. Almost every major government , has a shadow government calling the shots.

Next I saw the oval Office, On the desk in front of the pres.was a white folder, it said UN on the front...He sighned it into law... then I saw that stupid natioinal id card in everyones right hand...I IS THE STEP RIGHT BEFORE THE MARK OF THE BEAST!!! The card in everyones hands then changed and it became the chip.Someones preivious post hit the nail on the head. This next part might get me in trouble, but here goes... Next I saw a counsil meeting of men within the predominant Utah religon, they were very concerned about this ID card!!! Then I saw the funeral of the current prophet. Many were mourning his loss. Next I saw a big problem... the chuch became split down the middle as people couldnt decide weather to get the mark or not... Those who did take the mark remained in monitary power in the church.. those who rejected the Mark, Retained the priesthood power, but were greatly persecuted. The government tried taking over the church... But the Lord kept His key players in their places, So the church wasnt destoyed. I feel this is what the scripture means that talks about the church being driven into the wilderness.

Next I saw the first EQ again... there was a massive crack inteh ground that was probably 100 feet across it ran through the center of SLC. Just about From the Hospital down into tailorsville... It had other smaller fissures spidering out from it. The south edge of the main crack dropped several feet and the soil slipped on that edge. I was shown that this is why so many structures along it collaped. The red brick Hosp. was on the south of the crack and its noth end collapsed as the ground gave was underneath. the same applied to the delta center. There was a really tall building near main and I think 3rd east. Almost as big as the church office building. It really went down... Also the Ch.o build just swayed really bad. On the freeway the west end of the spagetti bowl went down along sith several overpasses. The Great Salt Lake was Sloshing Everywhere. flooding the freeways etc... Lots of broken roads Fires burnign buildings and rubble. I saw a woman in a blue business suit rinning in the streets and dodge-ing the falling buildings. The quake Started with several smaller tremmors... few paid attention. When the big one hit it was going then stopped for for a few minutes. Then it really hit hard. Millions were displaced out of their homes. The quake was felt all the way back to missouri. The main states involved were Ut., Az.,Whyo., Nev., For some reason the south eastern end of the state wasn't hit as hard. The Pres. Declared a national emergency. in the western states. power and Communications were sporadic. The Gov sent in the Nat. Guard to help relocate people, with trucks and supplies. I saw a Long line of military vehicles along with other cars and trucks headed up Spanish fork canyon. Some went to sanpete, others to carbon county. The Gas stations had Long lines where they had power, and I saw someone shoot another person in the panic. The relocation camps were offered as shelters right from the start. But not as many went there at first. Martial law was declaired off and on durring this...We are actually under it now, at the airports etc...Fema was a big influence at this time. in relocating people etc...I saw bishops announcing to their congregations the need to open their homes and resourses to the homeless. There where alot of miracles at this time,as people helped one another. Lots of Supplies of food and tents were supplied to Sanpete and Carbon counties by the US government.The church asked for people to share what they had at this point, food storage etc.. the law of consecration. I was told that if I wanted to go to a city of light, this was the time to share what I had... The church was stock pilingthe food in these places. and they provioded a way to get it there. That was my ticket to a city of light. lateron there are few running cars, ond little gas so you would have to bring your years supply by horse and wagon if possible. Next I saw a new President.. He is someone very close to pres. Bush. Pres bush continued leading our govenment in this way... kind of like a back seat driver. Next I saw a massive hurricane off the south east coast It was bigger than anything that has ever hit there. it was devastating, then massive flooding in the mid west. The hole nation went to martial law, The pres called in U.N. forces to take over and keep the peace. WE had relitivly no governemt left except for the military and they kind of did things their own wayThe white fema trucks now came an took the food. In the Sanpete and carbon counties, at first it was voluntary then manditory . The military began to paln an attack on these little valleys to get the food that was there. but the Lord protected the people by closing up the mountains in the 2nd E.Q.


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MP, I do know that the emp does go off. I think right before the 2nd E.Q.... I saw lines of cars on the freeway by Nephi, empty cars, tires missing and doors open. I also saw people grabbing their things and running on foot. Then I saw what I thought was Na palm. It looked like fire raining from the sky... the size of rain drops. It wasnt like the bigger hail fire that comes later. But I know alot of people died from it. I saw planes shooting it at the people in the streets as they ran away.Just have to say how importaint personal revelation will be durring these things.

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Hi Lizzie, I would suggest that you go to the Lord and ask for the answer. If it has already concerned you, perhaps your spiritual red flags are going up to warn you. What I have been given is... that some of the things they are encouraging people to get..ie flu vaccine,is not making us sick, but weakening the immune system, so that when they hit us with the real bad bug, we wont be able to withstand its effects. Just a note here. My last two children aren't immunized...recently I've been told to go get it done. Now that the children are older they can handle the effects...but the real reason is this... soon our gov. will begin making note of those who have not complied...they will start taking peoples children away as a result, saying they are unfit parents...To me the risk of getting the shots is of far less of an importance than the other alternative. I guess its a matter of prayer for each individual.

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Ot was a misspell sorry... it is supposed to say ("IT" was voted on by the U.N.) Per the flu vaccine, The fastest way to create a demand, is to create a shortage. I really worry about saying too much of the bio type things... It tends to grab the attention of the wrong people. Some of which are watching sites like this one. I can say following the Word of wisdom is key to building a strong immune system. A few nights ago I saw a report on the news about studies that have proven the flu vaccines have had little if no beneficial effects. The amount of people who got the flu was the same with the shot, as it was in those who did not recieve the shot. This was a report from the centers for disease control. I want to appologise also for my (atrocious) spelling and grammer. I think I spelled that wrong!

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here's more of what I've been shown. I saw a young man standing in the back of a truck on a street in spanish fork. This young man wasn't a general authority but, truly had the spirit of prophecy, he told several groups of people to move south to saftey, they followed him and went to the Nephi valley...there they began to settle and they got along well. The people felt safe and began to get too comfortable The young man again warned them that trouble was comming and that they needed to leave and go further south. The officials in charge didn't like this independant group (probably of one to two thousand). They considered them to be discentors and fugatives. This group ignored the young prophet man and said they were happy there. That was when I saw airplanes attacking this group from the north east. The airplanes fired what looked like tiny firebursts at The people. I think it was napalm? next I saw a family in their truck ready to go but suddenly all the cars and vehicles where frozen,I feel this was when the EMP was used... the freeway was later filled with vehicles all lined up, tires had been stolen by luters the cars where stripped and doors left open..When the attack came I saw people quickly grab what they could and just start running on foot. Some southward others on foot up throught the Nephi canyon, up towards the sanpete valley. The first E.Q.had ruined the road in the canyon and large bolders and rocks had blocked most of the normal route. I saw the people running on foot being persued by the military up this canyon. It was then that the Lords hand was upon mount Nebo...As if he were molding it with His own hand the mountain closed up right behind the righteous group of people who were trying to escape.. It reminded me of the children of Israel going through the red sea on dry ground. With the egyptian army in hot persuit. I also saw the thistle canyon close up as well. But there I saw alot of water, that also blocked the way closing the sanpete valley in. I never did see what happened on the south end of that valley but I know it was protected for a long time. Next I saw that the military was really mad at the people in the Sanpete valley Those people had food and supplies that the military had helped bring in with the first E.Q. evacuation. Now the military wanted what was left. Fema had already come around with the white trucks and taken almost everything they could. I was told that this was the time to flee into the mountains for safety...at the first site of those white fema trucks.Now the military set up camp in the Nephi valley. Just below the mountain that had closed up. They were planning an attack on the poor righteous people of little Sanpete. I did see some military men refuse to do this, they were righteous priesthood holders, being ordered to kill the innocent. I saw several of these good military men executed at point blank range. Next I saw a great big E.Q. swallow up the tanks airplanes...and all the military equipment that was stationed in nephi.It was so Dark,the sky looked black with storm clouds. When it was all over there wasn't much of Nephi Left. Back in Sanpete valley people did ok for a while, they worked together to survive. I did see a mass grave there in that valley after the first E.Q. Because So many had come wounded and dying, they died once they arrived there. Sanpete wasn't prepared to handle all of the medical and shelter needs. Next I saw my family hidden in the mountains. I looked down at the valley, and saw a chinese soldier. I then saw that they had come from the california coast, at first the chinese then russian troops... they came from all the borders. I then saw a Large fireball in the say comming from the east. I saw a chinese soldier Look up at it then he had a look of betrayal on his face. I think it came from his own country. I was then shown a place in the middle of the California Nevada desert. It was a small fenced in area with a chain link fence about 50' x 50'. there were posted warnings and red signs, it was a government facility, but there wasn't anything above ground except the fence. I then asked what the yellow fire ball in the sky was...i was told it was nuclear. It hit in the middle of that fenced in area...where there was another nuke underground.. Both went off...I was then pulled away from the picture as if i was looking at the U.S. from a distance. Everything went completly black then bright red...Then I saw the Saltlake valley it was red soooo red No houses. just stubbs of trees and people huddling by little fires to survive.The temple was still standing.Then I saw the western coastline. All the way from Oregon down through Arizona the entire coastline was gone leaving only little islands dotting the area. teh ocean actually touched the tip of southwestern Utah. I'll share more later...

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Mary Lou, I did see a massive super volcano, where mt. raineer is now. I was told It would be the biggest in the U.S. I also saw a large volcano just above the bear lake area in southern Idaho. As to your question of safe places. Near the top of Idaho and in the lower Part of Montana I saw a group that was self sustaining these people did well for a long time, though I do believe at one point they all migrated eastward. This group was situated somewhat between the two volcanos but a bit to the north.

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silverboh         to Last-Days-Even. 2/21/05 (3 days ago)

Herendair said:

As to your question of safe places. Near the top of Idaho and in the lower Part of Montana I saw a group that was self sustaining these people did well for a long time...

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I was wondering if you are talking about two different groups or if this is one area? My wife's family lives near there and when I read this I read the "top of Idaho" as meaning the northern part of the panhandle near Coeur D'Alene Area. But I read the "lower part of Montana" as closer to Butte and the lower part of Idaho. If you can clarify that would be great.

Jared

herendair         to Last-Days-Even. 2/22/05 (2 days ago)

It was mainly one group of people that I saw in that area. In the northern portion of Idaho ....southern portion montanna. Often what I have seen is somewhat vague as to towns or areas, just general. Like if I was looking at a map of the U.S.A. It was an area near the Idaho panhndle up to the north and a little to the right of the panhandle. so it was just one area I saw...but that does not mean that there are not lots of other safe areas. I did see other areas of the U.S. as well one by Cortez New Mexico, a few in Colorado one in the Arizona desert south west of Page area (a long way from page). There were also several small places as well.

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Here's more of what I've seen. When Fema was comming around to take the food, at first it was on a volontary basis then it became manditory. I was told to LEAVE AT THE FIRST SITE OF THESE WHITE TRUCKS!!! We went into the mountains.I also saw enormous warehouses filled with the food they had taken forcefully from the peole and then stockpiled. Then I saw the starving people in the death camps. The food in the warehouses remained there...and was not used for the starving people. I did see that many people escaped from the internment camps durring one of the Earthquakes, I think it was the Same E.Q. that reshaped the mountains and also helped the people form Nephi escape. When the Nucelear bomb came from the east It was completely unexpected by everyone. When it hit the other U.S. Nuke that was still in the ground they both went off at the same time. I saw a major shock wave and cloud over California as everything went black and then red....This one event changed everything...I saw massive tidal waves and enormous changes to the region. I saw very little left standing almost all of california was gone. Just little islands left. Soon after the bombs went off I saw massive hail falling on everything across the U.S. the hail was on fire. Some the size of a grain of rice...up to the size of a car or small house. I saw these hitting everything that was left It burned up the fields and destoyed most structures that were left standing...to me this was the worst of all the previous events, because it effected everyone and destroyed more. At this point most everything was desolate.All the trees burned, even in the mountains. I also saw alot of volcanic activity all across what was left of the U.S.A. In other parts of the world things were very much in the same kind of turmoil. WE had to learn how to survive from the native americans...People tried to grow food but it was very hard...very little was left. To the impoverished countrys nothing had changed they got along just as they always have, then they showed the rest of the world how to survive.I did see the entire world at war.Everything was in turmoil. Next I saw an enormous yellow ball of fire in the sky I was told this was a small planet or asteroid, It hit out beyond California in the pacific ocean. I was shown the year 2012. This along with the previous nuclear attack was too much for the earth to sustain all in the same general region. The earths rotation was nocked off its axis. I then saw massive flooding as the polar caps melted. I was again pulled back from the view and I saw the entire U.S. It looked like two small continents. The west coast was just little islands all the wasy from Oregon down to Baha California. Alot of texas was under water...as was a great portion of canida... the Entire area from the great lakes down to the gulf of mexico was all under water, the area effected was as wide as the great lakes combined. The east coast was also mostly islands and was almost all gone as well, though I wasn't shown what caused it. Many if the islands world wide were underwater at this point.

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I did see the St. George area safe for a time.. but later on that tip of the state was effectivley gone from the nukes. The nukes just took out the s.w. corner of utah, I did not see if St. george was left or not.

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kim gifford         to Last-Days-Even. 2/22/05 (2 days ago) Herendair- What did you see for the Idaho/Wyoming border, up by the mountains? I've dreamed about a tent city and I always thought thats where it might have been. Seems a bad place to have it tho because of Yellowstone and all...

herendair         to Last-Days-Even. 2/22/05 (2 days ago)

all I really saw in that area was the volcano I've spoken of.. But I did see some places of refuge farther east into Wyoming.

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herendair         to Last-Days-Even. 2/22/05 (2 days ago)

I wasn't given a time frame (BC: She was referring to a question as to how long it would take for the events to unfold. And yet, she provided possible dates in another post. Go figure.) ...I only saw the events leading up to... Mark 13:32-33 32.But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.

33. Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.

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I do believe there will be a refuge by the dream mine-salem area. One thing I perhaps should explain is that there will be different phases of places of refuge. First phase...would be the places people evacuate to right after the initial E.Q.'s i.e. tent cities. Second phase would be a place to settle into for a while... more organized area of mini cities, people pulling their resourses in a community of cooprative living. Third phase would be the mountains, caves,hiding in the rocks and crevices, this could also include a place you have prepared for nuclear attack...when you baracade down to live off of your resourses going into hiding for protection. Fourth phase is whatI believe will be those places protected by God...cities of light places that people hear about and begin migrating to for protection. In these places people will have to live by the laws of God... consecration etc....I believe people will have to prove their goodness before they will be allowed in.

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One thing everyone needs to know is that even if you have heirloom seeds you need to have the knowlege of how to harvest the seed for the next year.. some plants like carrots are biannual and you have to let the carrots sit in the ground a year before the seeds can be harvested.. Other seeds like for apple trees, need a hardening time with the cold to work... basic understanding of this will be essential


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I have seen an attempt on the presidents life...I also saw one that failed...These were seperate... I do know that there is a new president in office when everything falls apart. This new president seemed to be a puppet.And really panicked at the natural disasters that happened. He also seemed akward at decision making. I saw that he was a good friend of Bush, then I saw bush standing behind him...still running things...it may be figurative of the Bush family still having pull in the white house...even if it isn't actually George W. in charge. I did see the government in almost total ruin. The military seemed to be in control at first...then fema...then the un...Then the invasion of china, russia. At that point it was all down hill..nukes, gangs,things just got to a point of survival...many having pockets of government,in their own little areas. Just because I didnt see it doesn't mean its not valid...I trust brother wolfgramm's blessing as truth...especially with the priesthood he had.

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Hi Doc...I believe it was the second earthquake that takes out the two dams...The second E.Q. was soooooo bad I saw alot of water with it. It also seemed to be the cause of alot of future volcanic activity starting.I saw the old Hot Pots becomming active at the old homestead hotel by Heber.The volcanos that come later across the U.S. are enormous...Mt raineer,is one of the worst, I also saw a great big one up in Idaho above the bear lake area. One thing that I was told as I saw the volcano's.. was that if you can find a mildly active one to live by, It could be a blessing to you. It would keep the military...and gangs etc...away.

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MP This is very important...I saw thousands of orphaned children...huddling by fires to keep warm. I have friends who are gathering as many childrens clothes, shoes coats etc...as they can, even though their children are grown. It will be essential to teach your children how to be safe in the wild,from all types of predators, even human ones. I saw my own son going out to forage for food...this was while we were still in our homes. They will also need to understand the power of prayer and the ministering of angels. Even how to use their own spiritual gifts. Don't discourage your children when they come to you about something they have felt...the Lord is preparing them too. Thanks MP this is really important.

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The next thing I saw was the return of the city of Enoch...It was very brief I just saw the general area and a great mass with a city return to the area of the new jerusalem. I then saw people begin migrating tward that area from all over the U.S. I did see tribes from south America comming as well as people from the north... The ones from the north were,I believe the lost tribes. There were not alot of people at this point, I did see small groups comming from the west and stopping at little weigh stations along the way these little stations were like little areas of light, where the people could get provisions and rest along the way as they traveled east. The next part that I was shown I ave rarely been able to share, but with only a handfull. I have prayed alot about it and the spirit is testifying that I need to share it... Please know this is very sacred to me....I was taken to the Land of Israel... there in Jerusalem I saw the jews building a temple on the area where the dome of the rock now stands. It was made of a yellowish type of stone and reminded me of the style of solomons temple. I then saw another temple there it was right by (I think to the south of ) the Jerusalem center built by the LDS church. This temple was made of grey stone and I think it was where the orson Hyde garden now is. Next I saw a council of men gathered they were very evil, The anti christ stood at the head of the table, he wore military clothes that were tan, he had dark hair and a somewhat stalky build...I will probably share more about him later... the group he was talking to represented nations from all over the world. they were planning an attack on Jerusalem. I saw them gather their forces and weaponry in a valley just below the the mount of Olives. I have been told it was the kidron valley. I then saw life within the city of Jerusalem the people had already been under attack, and small portions had held their ground and were protected by what looked like domes of clear light over them. I then saw a stone arched gateway into the city it was riddled with bullet holes, a road ran along in front of it and if you were standing by this gate you could see out over the kidron valley, to me it looked as if I was looking out over the south west toward the desert. The mount of olives was to my south I think. I have never been there physically so I can only express what I was shown. Next I saw two Young men walk out from the inner part of this gate... they where prophets, and their presence had been the Lords way of protecting the city. The people in the city were frightened but remained there. I watched these two young men face the forces of the world alone, but with the Lords power at their command. As the forces of evil began their attack, I saw these two call down the powers of heaven in defence of the city. First I saw them speak and cause great earthquakes then a large dust storm gathered over the forces of darkness. The storms blocked the militarys foces from advancing. Then I saw these evil forces plotting again. As the two prophets called down all the ancient plagues of Israel upon these evil forces, much as was done in Moses day.these two prophets cast forth judgements in righteous priesthood authority, This because they were especial witnesses of the Lord with special priesthood power and keys. Next I was the dark forces am a missle at thes two... One of the prophets raised his hand and diverted the missles. They could not be hurt. I then saw a clear dome of protection over the whole city. I again saw all the nations meet with their evil leader, who was being directed expressly by the adversary himself. these dark forces gathered together everything they could at his point in one grand push agaist these two small men and Jerusalem. It was odd to see the whole world attacking two young men.this time they succeded I feel prompted not to say how... but these evil forces killed these two. I saw them laying in the streets among broken stones and rubble. The world rejoyced at this. The evil ones then began to take over the city as little pockts of resistance held out ... no one touched the bodiesof the two prophets...I was shown it was because they were still terrified of the power these two held...so they just left them there. The area was blocked off by those in charge, and to go near the bodies was forbidden..The people would not touch them...for Gods promise was opon them. The eveil forces now had their guard down and waisted the time they had left. 3 1/2 days later I saw the bodies of the two prophets begin to stir...then everything was completly silent....then I was an enormous earthquake It was the greatest yet.Then everything was dark....and quiet... then there was a bright light in the sky....It was the Lord.... I saw the two prophets completly restored raise up inthe sky then the sky opened up just like a scroll, it split down the center and was peeled back...I could see a myriad of the host of heaven the lord was at the front in the center. The two prophets then took their place on both sides of the Lord. There were an unnumerable amount of beings with the Savior, all singing His praises.The Lord is wearing red...deep purplish red like the color of blood....HIS LIGHT IS SOOOOO BRIGHT IT FILLS EVERYTHING...HE COMES IN ALL HIS GLORY. Now the people can't deny His glory any longer...The lord commands and all obey. I heard Him command for all to repent.. it was a great voice of thunder...it shook the entire earth...all people world wide know He is here.That is when I saw every living soul kneel...many whimpered and cried, they knew they were doomed...others rejoyced with their arms and eyes held high towards their Lord..Then I saw the Lords arm extended Those who were righteous were called up and met him in the cloud of beings, they then stood behind Him.The Lord then extended his left arm and mad a sweeping motion with it over those who were left on the earth... He protected those in the sky behind Him. I watched as all of the forces of destruction were then brought upon the evil ones.The Lord commanded theEarth also and it obeyed...the land masses now moved and everything was restored to its former place.. I must tell all who read this I do not know the time or the hour... but I DO KNOW HE IS COMMING IN ALL HIS GLORY... HE WILL RETURN.. BUT BEFORE HE DOES THIS EARTH WILL BE CLEANSED AND EVERYTHING UPON IT... HE IS THE ONLY BEGOTTEN SON OF THE FATHER...IT IS ONLY BY HIM AND THROUGH HIM THAT WE ARE REDEEMED. i WANT ALL OF YOU TO KNOW THAT i LOVE HIM BEYOND ALL EXPRESSION...i KNOW WE MUST PREPARE NOW... HE ATONED FOR ALL OF US IF WE WILL JUST ACCEPT HIS GREAT LOVE!!!

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I'm sorry Bonnie, but I wasn't given any details about Missouri, except that I do know Jackson county, Independance area is where the city of Enoch returns to. Just a note this city is enormous...

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Bill, I have also read that Wilford Woodruff had a similar vision written in his journal, not that it was him that had the vision, but that someone had sent it to him and he copied it into his journal. It talks about the state of missouri being swept so clean that there would not even be a yellow dog to wag its tail. My mother in law is trying to convince my family to move to the Kansas City area, but I think I'll wait to go to "Zion" when the exodus comes!

Jane (not hereandair) who was responding to my post of GPA's Independence Revelation.

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I saw the water levels..world wide raise, it was toward the latter end of things... but unless hawaii has some really high mountains I'd be a bit hesitant...Just go to the lord with it.Alot of people will need to be in different places so they can warn others or help out others. Too often we get our own idea of what would be best when the Lord is the best judge of where to lead us I think we need to be willing to go where the Lord needs us most.

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ONE OF JOSEPH'S LAST DREAM

Truly a descendant of Joseph of Egypt.

This is touching - please take a minute to view it. My love for the man grows and I feel to shout hallelujah for having lived after him and being able to look back and see his might works. He will sit high in the constellation of the great ones with the Savior and our God.

CLICK LINK

Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah!

JOSEPH SMITH'S LAST DREAM IN CARTHAGE JAIL

Joseph Smith was a man of visions and dreams and truly bore his namesake's (Joseph of Egypt) legacy well. He truly was a direct descendant of that line. I am not aware of any other person (that at least has recorded it) who has excelled at this gift more than Joseph Smith. And while he was mocked and scorned for that gift, I aspire to the same gift and would be satisfied to have just a crumb of what he possessed for myself.

I have enjoyed stunning dreams that have predicted down to the most minute detail, things of the future including very mundane things related to work and relationships. I have been quite shy on the visions detail, but that will come over time and if there is a divine need for it in my life. I will share more of these remarkable dreams over time - not in a manner of boasting - but as encouragement to others to seek after their gift. In being silent about these remarkable manifestations (unless we are expressly forbidden to share them with the world), we do the devil's work in that God's glory is not manifest and that gift or the seeking for the gift is not encouraged among other budding in the gifts of the Spirit. I have a wonderful little 8 yr old girl who has watched me try (poorly, I might say) to exercise my non-gift for piano playing. In seeing me, she has been encouraged to hop on the bench and start plunking. In her plunking, my wife and I recognized a fluidity in her motion and an ear for tone that most kids do not have. We, instead of discouraging her, and telling her that she must only play that when no one else is around for fear of embarrassment, have encouraged and praised her openly and she has blossomed (with some good piano teachers) into a great little pianist whom I think will go far with her gift. So it is with spiritual gifts - they are suppressed in the church with such zeal that there is little incentive to even try. Gifts of healing the same - and I cite some of the trials that Iohani Wolfgramm went through as he exercised that fantastic gift (which I have also been given). Not to be critical here, but people are not shown how to exercise that gift properly - and a few of those that have done it have been swatted down for it by people, quite frankly, who are faithless and who will find themselves on the left hand as the corrupt teachers they have been who made their adherents into twice the children of hell that they were - in the final analysis. The proud and wicked and hypocritical can't take being shown up by the weak and the unlearned - it drives them mad with jealousy - a type of rage that is only documented in those who dealt with Jesus, Abinadi and Nephi among others. I have felt it among the wicked around me who have begun to find out what I stand for - and increasingly so, among those in the church. In the Church, it is mild to moderate now, but it will increase with time as disparity grows in the membership. It will get to the point, that if Jesus were to appear incognito, the general membership would vote to put the radical (from their perspective) to death again. To illustrate my point, here is Joseph's last dream the night before he was murdered. I will not narrate it - I leave it to you to decide for yourselves what the interpretation is, but remember what he told Emma when she sent a runner for him after he had crossed the Mississippi River to head to the Rocky Mountains the night before he was taken into custody. Also, remember the Book of Mormon was written for (to shred) us (the general membership of the Church) and not the Catholics or Protestants or some other group that may never have the pleasure of reading it:

Joseph related the following dream which he had last night:

"I was back in Kirtland, Ohio, and thought I would take a walk out by myself, and view my old farm, which I found grown up with weeds and brambles, and altogether bearing evidence of neglect and want of culture. I went into the barn, which I found without floor or doors, with the weather-boarding off, and was altogether in keeping with the farm.

"While I viewed the desolation around me, and was contemplating how it might be recovered from the curse upon it, there came rushing into the barn a company of furious men, who commenced to pick a quarrel with me.

"The leader of the party ordered me to leave the barn and farm, stating it was none of mine, and that I must give up all hope of ever possessing it.

"I told him the farm was given me by the Church, and although I had not had any use of it for some time back, still I had not sold it, and according to. righteous principles it belonged to me or the Church.

"He then grew furious and began to rail upon me, and threaten me, and said it never did belong to me nor to the Church.

"I then told him that I did not think it worth contending about, that I had no desire to live upon it in its present state, and if he thought he had a better right I would not quarrel with him about it but leave; but my assurance that I would not trouble him at present did not seem to satisfy him, as he seemed determined to quarrel with me, and threatened me with the destruction of my body.

"While he was thus engaged, pouring out his bitter words upon me, a rabble rushed in and nearly filled the barn, drew out their knives, and began to quarrel among themselves for the premises, and for a moment forgot me, at which time I took the opportunity to walk out of the barn about up to my ankles in mud.

"When I was a little distance from the barn, I heard them screeching and screaming in a very distressed manner, as it appeared they had engaged in a general fight with their knives. While they were thus engaged, the dream or vision ended."

Both Joseph and Hyrum bore a faithful testimony to the Latter-day work, and the coming forth of the Book of Mormon, and prophesied of the triumph of the Gospel over all the earth, exhorting the brethren present to faithfulness and persevering diligence in proclaiming the Gospel, building up the Temple, and performing all the duties connected with our holy religion.

Sobering - really quite sobering, from my perspective anyway.

PART II - FEELING SOMEONE ELSE'S PAIN OVER LONG DISTANCES

So, previously - a few posts back, I wrote down my experiences with my first love Tawny and how I was able to feel her pain from 5500 miles away.

So, I had another experience that was equally as unusual.

After I returned from my mission to Brazil, I worked in Eastern WA making good summer wages at a vegetable processing plant. I actually worked three jobs knowing that the scholarships would cover everything but the dating dollars - and I wanted some spending cash to spend on the ladies I knew I would bump into at the happy hunting ground.... It was not to be that year, while at Moses Lake, my brother met and introduced me to Danielle. I initially fell in love with her family - they seemed to have it all together and like mother, like daughter, I was determined to marry a girl that had a good blueprint for how to make a happy well-balanced family happen. Danielle had 7 kids in her family and they lived what I thought to be the perfect existence. Our relationship went along pretty well - she at Ricks and I at BYU-Provo getting my engineering degree. If grades are any indication of how well a girl positively influences a guy, I was in good shape. I was pulling the curves in almost every class and managed straight A's all year in engineering weeder courses. Our relationship went well, but there were some maturity issues on both our parts - and her dad specifically told me she was too young to marry. The other thing that scared me was that Danielle took the whole family thing a little too seriously. She was going to bear me 12 children - and she was dead serious. I was more in the 5-7 range. I know my limits - and 12 was too many. Maybe she was just trying to scare me off - but I knew she might try and make good on her promise. I was falling for her and we had even kicked the M word around - but there were a few hurdles we could not clear and she decided she was to serve a mission (much to her dad's delight). In the meantime, I found a good friend who I swear knew every woman on campus and he took me on "the rounds" every Sunday where we would go to the women's apartments and forage for a free Sunday meal. We had an agreement: we cleaned the kitchen top to bottom after taking care of the Sunday leftovers - and we also took notice of all the cute girls we bumped into. We were praised for our cleaning details which was no big deal as we were engineers and used to detail - they were praised on their cooking skills. It was the perfect setup and ended in the marriage of me to my eternal companion. She passed all the necessary tests and cleared all the hurdles except she came from a broken home where a divorce was occurring just as we were coming together in our union. Truly sad.... It was so sad, that having heard some of the dysfunction from her family had me thinking I was going to have to let her down easy and move on to the girl behind door number three - but I actually heard a crystal clear voice in my mind say "It will be okay (stick with her)".... FREAKY stuff!! The only time that ever happened before or since.
My sweetie was born in September (I had known my sweetie would be a Sept girl since I was 16 years old and first pondered on the concept of being married). We were actually born 15 hours apart and my best man - that set me up with her was born on the same day as me - all of us in the same year. Pretty odd for three completely random people meeting up. My best man being a major player in every major thing in my life including the dream I had the night we lost our Dallin. He even found me my current job that has seen us through tough economic times. Which segues nicely into the point of this whole story.....
I had the previously posted anguishing dreams the week Tawny lost her brother in a tragic death, and in Nov 2001 I, for two weeks, had been having these anguishing tormented dreams again - but this time about Danielle. Every morning I would wake up and tell my wife and then another torturous night feeling gloom and doom over Danielle. I was convinced that something bad had happened to her - but could not ascertain what it possibly could be. My wife prodded me to call her - but I could not bring myself to do it - it would be awkward beyond words, and besides, I had no contact info and she had married a few years before that and I only knew that my brother had run into her in N. Utah at a crafts fair where her woodworking husband sold some of his works of art.

One of the problems also was that I only awoke with impressions of torment, but with no specific details of what the exact details were. My wife promised me that if I would wake her, she would record the details the next time this kind of thing happened. I was concerned enough, I agreed, but I was NOT going to make contact with Danielle. VERY awkward considering how our relationship just kind of petered out and died with a sigh.... Not very good closure, I must say.

Fast forward four and a half months. I had been given a weekly 5am Saturday morning temple assignment. I dreaded the early hours - but LOVED the chance to serve and start my weekend off right. My personal level of spirituality soared. Six weeks after serving in the temple, I had a most powerful and vivid dream. I rolled over and my wife and I woke up simultaneously. I was saying over and over "That was amazing, that was amazing...". My wife asked what it was and I told her I had just had the most incredible dream. She popped out of bed and disappeared into the office returning shortly with a tape. She popped it into the tape recorder that just happened to be next to our bed (we had just pulled it out of storage three days before to listen to some Cleon Skousen tapes the missionaries had given us - the only boom box we owned that could record). For 45 minutes I recorded the most incredible dream I had ever had - and our son had been laying dead in the next room for the past three hours. I believe he was there in the room - and the sweet spirit I was feeling was some of his presence - he is one of the greats of the Matheson line who needed only get a tabernacle of clay and move on to greater things without the need to be tried and tested in this fallen world. After recording this singular dream which we later foretold with incredible clarity three significant events that would define our lives in the future (one of which was Dallin's death), I turned off the tape and we rolled over and went to sleep until we woke up late that morning - the usual babe crying at 6am for his morning milk not having woken us as usual.....
Our little family converged on his room where we found his lifeless body - beginning the most unusual odyssey I could ever have contrived in my mind had I even scarcely believed it to be possible. One where I have a solid witness of God's interaction in our lives, where I know He lives and where I know there is life after this one and we are on a carefully guided plan to help us fill our greatest God-given potential - take my life if you must, but you cannot take that solid assurance away from me.

So - what does this have to do with Danielle? It finally (after I was able to digest the whole death of a child thing and that I wasn't just having random or coincidental dreams), I looked up her mom who still lived in the same place in Moses Lake and briefly told her of our tragedy and asked, "What happened to one of your daughters last November?". "Did something tragic or of significance happen the end of that month?" She paused - and then said that I must be referring to Danielle and I said yes, it was....

She then proceeded to tell me that around the time that my wife and I were married, Danielle (as a 21 year old woman - and on her mission in AZ) had gone through menopause and stopped ovulating completely. The woman who had wanted 12 kids became completely infertile and could no longer bear any. She gave Danielle our phone number and Danielle called a few nights later and we had a good cry together as we shared our losses - a truly surreal experience. She had met her husband and they started the treatment to kick her body out of the early onset menopause (much as they would one of these ladies who is 60 and decides she would like to have a baby). The doctors kept increasing the dosages of medicine until the doctor told her it would end up killing her before she could have a baby of her own. The levels were 5x what it would take to kick the 60 year old back into a fertile state. She was left with an empty minivan (she had bought with the idea she and her husband would fill it) - and no children. A tragedy as great as having and then losing one of her own - a true state of mourning. Once again, I had felt someone's pain from a great distance - that strange non-verbal soul to soul communication at work. I cannot explain it - but it is fascinating beyond words. I understand the communication with Danielle - we had professed our love to each other and I wonder what the long-term interactions between her and I will be. I found out after marrying my wife (who made the genealogical connections through a common friend), that all three girls who made the top of the list while I was at BYU were all descended from a common ancestor who was hanging out with my common ancestor on the Willey-Martin handcart company disaster. I truly was supposed to marry into that line - I am sure of it. I have only skimmed the surface on this topic - there is so much more weird stuff that I haven't got time for.

A whole other topic for a whole other day. Sufficeth to say - things are way too strange when you take a walk down the wild side in the Wood Zone. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't experienced it.

THINGS OF THE HEART - TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION OVER EXTREME DISTANCE

So, looking at this blog you might think I am surrounded in a swirl of mysteries and the unexplainable to the point that I am beside myself. I really am not - so much so that it drives my wife nuts at my level of confidence about the world and things of the present and of the future. I just have a deeply held feeling about most things - just a gut feel or confidence that is unshakable once I have had a chance to ponder and arrive at a conclusion. My boss at work just commented that I am opinionated (and alot of people that don't know me well, say the same thing). It is not so much that I am stuck on my own belief set (I just KNOW what I KNOW). This blog is largely a representation of new stuff that I am exploring as I expand my horizons of the physical and spiritual world around me. It actually takes years for me to form an opinion about something - but when I do, I usually do so with great confidence and zeal.

There is one thing, however, that has dogged me - you might say tormented me - for decades now. I cannot entirely shake it and it leaves me constantly wondering about its meaning, precisely because I think the answers are complex and their roots lie in a murky realm we know little of - and even the best minds yet having walked this earth have either little knowledge of or have commented little on due to the general unbelieving nature of this earth's inhabitants....

Sooo, here I go.

When I was around 12 years old, I first laid eyes on what I considered the most beautiful and graceful (young) woman I had ever met. We rode the bus together and I would see her every day - an irresistible thing that would torment me, but that I knew I might never enjoy the company of. We were born in two different worlds. I was a little bit of a hick from a family farm, she from a middle class home - just a mite more proper and refined than my background. She had a younger brother she dearly loved and parents who doted over their two offspring with great care. Not over religious (Protestant) - but good values ringing in the home. I observed her for several years - trying to detect clues to the key to her heart which I helplessly felt I might never obtain. Her heart was carefully hidden; deeply buried and little exposed as to how she really felt. She was more at home in the company of the adults around here than with the immature beings that surrounded her. So my quest became one of finding ways to spend some time with her or to impress her with my maturity and potential. It was in that quest that I accomplished some good things during those formative years. If a lofty goal was met, it was worthy of her possible attention for having reached it. So, in retrospect, she possessed one of the best qualities of woman - the ability to bring out the best in a man. It is a twisted hard-wired thing that all men must endure; the insatiable desire to impress (or please) the woman that captains their heart. God knew what he was doing when he was building the software that drives the two juxtapositioned sexes together to form a fused better whole. Thus, when there is a marriage or welding of two individuals together that will last into the eternities, how strong that weld must be to be unbreakable. Every act in my life (since marriage) that I have felt the Lord's guiding hand in has been to weld my wife and I together into that unit that will endure the eternities together.
Back to my first love.....
I can honestly say I loved Tawny - but did not know it at the time. I just knew that I could not resist my attraction to her. It was more than a physical attraction, there was a little destiny to it, as well. Like I have said before, I just KNOW what I know. To the point, I will say something off the cuff - and it will happen exactly as said 10 years later. So we spent time in each others presence in band, honor society, clubs at high school all the while waiting until I was 16 and could ask her out. I turned sixteen and planned the perfect triple date with one of my best friends (fellow tuba player in our marching band who ended up actually going out for almost a year with Tawny and being her first kiss...which was tortuous beyond words). We planned our Homecoming date for weeks with the flower colors coordinating, the perfect romantic little restaurant in an older part of town, her best friends to accompany us with my other friends so it would actually be fun and we wanted no flaws in the evening. It was the best high school date/dance I ever went to. Perfection - and I ended up giving her a hand full of hersheys kisses on her front step saying something to the effect that I knew the real things weren't possible, but that I wanted to give her the next best thing. BOLD for a 16 year old boy. I was rollin' the dice and going for broke - all the while trying to be casual about how I truly felt about her. I had a perfect school record, straight A's, class valedictorian, Class prez, Band Prez, Honor Society Prez, track team star ranked top three in the state as a sprinter and discus thrower. I had it all and I was gunning for a spot in her heart. I never did know how she felt about me except that one time we were on a bus going to a band competition and she had fallen asleep. She really did alot of talking in her sleep and her best friends in the flag corps asked her questions about who she liked - the only way to get the truth out of her since she kept things of her heart so closely guarded. They asked her about some of the other guys who were vying for her attention and she actually wrinkled her nose in disgust. They then asked about me, and she broke into a nice smile in her sleep and said, "Oh, Eric...." and then drifted back to sleep. So everything I did, was about the capture of her heart. I even was selling myself to her parents about what a great potential future son-in-law I would be - all so laughable looking back. I was only 16 and had fanagled an audience with her folks in their own home just so I could sell myself to them.... I think I knew at that point that my religion was a catch point for them and I began losing hope that something might ever blossom. I knew I was a possessor of the truth - and she somehow would have to see that in order to cross over to my world; compromise the other direction was not possible where a forsaking of my true knowledge of Jesus Christ's plan would have to occur.

Later, I was blown away at the parallels between the situation I felt and the looks of the actors Natalie Portman and 'Anakin' and Tawny and I as well as the issues that they wrestled with in the Star Wars movie where there were such intense feelings - but nothing could be done about it.



So, enough history and to the point of this blog piece that has caused so much consternation for me through the years.

We, of course, parted but I thought of her every day (possibly) for several years. I compared every girl to her and only found one other that could measure that I ended up smooching - my first heavenly kiss (she later joined the church and I actually ended up going to a different university my first year just so I could focus and not end up being tormented by her in the same way Tawny had tormented me earlier). So finally, I left to go on my mission to Brazil and that intense feeling began to fade as I focused on serving the wonderful people of Brazil and my Savior. Amazing how losing yourself for others makes your own torment go away - whatever the source of it may be. One night just three or four short months after I had been in Brazil I began having intense agonizing dreams about Tawny. I couldn't shake the feeling of despair I had all day during the waking hours. Back to sleep and tormenting feelings of despair again. I was in a funk and really worried about Tawny. Remember, I had barely even held her hand and we had no professed love for each other. I was actually never sure if she even cared if I lived or died.... but I suddenly had an overpowering and relentless feeling of grief for/about her that I could not shake. Two weeks later when letters arrived that caught me up with events of the same time period back home - her brother that she loved dearly had died in a horrific high speed car crash. The whisperings being that he hit the tree so hard the hood came back and decapitated he and the other front seat passenger. I was floored by the news - and almost as much that I had "felt" her pain from 3000 miles away. Someone I was not related to and had no intimate connection to - except for what I had hoped might be, in my mind.

So, for years, I have puzzled over that mechanism of communication of souls between two people - and maybe a deeper connection that may have existed between her and I in the pre-existence. Had we made commitments to each other that could not be fulfilled due to disapproval between her parents and her, of myself in spite of my sterling qualifications otherwise. I cannot be certain as those things are left on the faded path of ( what might have been CLICK  LINK). Each choice we make for good or bad, forges the next step in our reality. In a world where agency is the governing principle, we must be allowed to make mistakes, to fall or rise on our own so that we can say our works were our own and therefore the judgements of God, truly just and fitting. Christ making up the shortfall where we cannot. God has a plan for Tawny and her family - one certainly (I feel) different had her folks responded differently to a mild exposure to the true gospel as God gently nudged them and continues to work miracles in their lives.

My mother had this gift with her own children - the best example I can think of was sitting in the TV room watching the tube one Sunday afternoon and my mother getting restless and then saying something bad had happened with my older sister. Within a few minutes, the phone rang and it was my sister letting us know that she had just gotten in a car wreck. My mom always knew - and it always just freaked me out. So maybe I inherited that intuition from my mother - but that gift she had was related to her own flesh and blood - not someone apparently disconnected from the situation. Not like the situation with Tawny.....

I have several more poignant examples of this very phenomenon from my own (later) life that prove it is not just a fluke that I can deny or simply dismiss. A topic for later on how I know I was supposed to marry into the Ephraim Moulton line.

Definitely more material for the sensational Wood Zone.