NOT MY TIME TO GO

For anyone that has been around me for some time, you will hear my stories of when I nearly got sent over to the other side.  I have never sat down to do an exact count, but I have nearly died no less than 10 times.  If I were any more paranoid than I am, I would have to think that someone was trying to kill me off.  Most of it is probably me, due to my own stupidity.

I am quite certain, one of the reasons my son was called over to the other side is because I have been such a pain in the butt for those responsible for overseeing what is going on down here on this telestial sphere.  In the dream my father had two weeks before that fateful day, the statement of my Great G-pa seemed to indicate that he was overloaded and needed a hand to keep up with the workload that I was probably contributing to.  Some days, if I am doing something very difficult, I will literally pray non-stop.  I like to think that I have an advocate over there - and it does bring me great comfort.  In the short 9 months we were together, I developed a close bond with that little guy.

Just before my mission, we were tearing our old barn down to make way for a new pole barn my dad was putting up.  My dad had a guy with a large backhoe come over and knock it over.  It was my job to then drag the large pieces over to an open area of a field away from the other outbuildings and prepare them for burning.  I used a large chain and attached the roof sections to the three point hitch on the old Ford 8N.  I had left it in the highest position, about 30" off the ground.  I dragged the first section over to the field quite easily and then returned for the second section.  This time, I was more comfortable with how the tractor was reacting to the load and I put it into third gear as I moved across the field.  I wanted the two roof sections on top of each other so that the burn pile would be as small as possible so I drove the tractor up onto the first roof section while trying to pull the second one on top while going between 5-10 mph.  I did not foresee that the 2x4 ends of the sections would butt up against each other and that, with the 3 point hitch raised - and going at the speed I was with the tractor holding down the first roof section, disaster was about to strike.  Basic physics won out - next thing I knew, the tractor was rotating back on its large rear wheels.  I began to panic in the 1-2 seconds I had to react.  I did not think to hit the throttle or the key, my mind started racing and thinking whether I should go right or go left as the steering wheel was coming up into my chest.  My life then began to proverbally flash before my eyes at frightening speed.  Everything was put into a ultra-slow state - except for what was flashing through my mind.  I had just been to see the Patriarch to receive my blessing wherein I was given some promises.  The thoughts in my mind were now literally screaming - a shout raced through my mind "I HAVE NOT SERVED A MISSION YET!!!!".    At that point the tractor was at about a 45 degree angle and I was certain it could have gone over with the 3 point hitch so high and not able to stop the backward movement.  One of the thoughts that raced through my mind was the story my mother always told of an uncle on her side of the family that had died - crushed by a tractor roll-over.  At that instant, the tractor stalled and crashed to the ground - the front tires bouncing about 1 foot off the ground on the first bounce.  I sat there for a few seconds still clutching the wheel - not believing I was still alive.  Then anger; at having been so reckless.  I jumped off the tractor and kicked the rear tire.    I was shaking.  I headed home and my mother saw me as I came in the rear door.  "What happened?"  I was too embarrassed to tell her that I had almost killed myself - but she knew by the ghostly color of my face that I had been in a brush with something scary.  Whether the carburetor float was at too steep of an angle to function, or whether there was a heavenly intervention, it simply was not my time to go.  I was able to serve my mission.

God is in control - and we cannot add a single day or hour to our life.  Therefore, seek to do His will and trust in His tender mercies.  It will all work out.