I have made several posts on this topic. This obviously is a hot point for me. There are a few reasons why.
First of all, I get seriously pissed when people judge someone out of context. For example, I have had those judge me for not being nice to my wife. Not when things are steady state as they are now - but for when things were downright bizarre in our marriage due to mental illness. I admittedly used to lose my cool due to the equivalent of PTSD brought on by almost a decade of bizarre behavior. It is excruciating having to live with someone with mild to severe mental illness, let alone try to raise a young family in that situation. I dare say that, if there were no hope of things getting better, I am not sure I could power through another 30 years of it. There is a reason that 90% of people who are in relationships where mental illness is present, end up divorced. For those who have questioned my character (losing my cool with my wife), most have had the displeasure now of having to live with someone in that state, so they now have a new yardstick to measure things by. I dare say things did not end so well for them. I take little pleasure in stating this - but I take comfort in the fact that they now "get it". I am sure the respect levels are now quite a bit higher.
The other thing that gets me pissed off to no end is when people make false allegations against anyone; and I will call it what it is: bearing false witness. In the previous blog post on Brigham, I outlined why I do not like those who call out Brigham (from an inferior position of power or authority) and even accuse him of plotting the murder of Joseph Smith along with John Taylor, etc based on sketchy assumptions at the very best. This kind of stuff is mind-roasting to me. Circuits start to pop in my head. Why is that? Because I have endured the first 24 years of my 30 year marriage of being "suspiced" - yes that is a word I made up and, yes Suspice is a verb meaning: to be suspicious of. If you search "abuse" on this blog, you can probably find the entire sordid tale as it progressed. My wife, as an abuse survivor, has made inferences towards me almost from the day our first girl came into the world. I do not fault her much, this burden was thrust upon her. It was not her choice nor her doing in any way. My wife came from a home where her mother was abused and suspicion of men is normal for her mother. Her broken relationships with men has largely reflected that mistrust. I feel sorry that she was not given a better situation. Her parents must atone for the shitshow they called an upbringing... Attitudes are passed on - almost completely independent of how one tries to cover the biases and raise the next generation in a relative vacuum from the dysfunction the previous generation experienced.
As my children passed the ages that the abuse occurred in their mother's life, the suspicing came out in full force. After losing our third kid to SIDS and my wife's condition became full-blown mania/psychosis because she would not sleep out of concern for the new baby, the innuendo and inferences spilled out (she could not contain them in a mentally compromised state) and I got so mad one evening (after months of build up to that point) as we were getting ready to go to a ward party, that I was afraid I would do more than just raise my voice at her. I felt I had it in me to push her hard and literally through the wall of our home if she had hit the wall between the studs. I am quite a bit bigger than she is. It would have been bad. I would have been jailed for felony assault or worse and likely it would have ended our marriage and destroyed our family - with me as the "bad guy"/abusive husband. Two officers responded to my 911 request for help - but I did not get the CPS representative I had requested, so that I could have them interview our kids and clear my good name. Thankfully (in hindsight), neither one of us spent the night in the pokey and neither one of us ended up interacting with CPS because that never ends well, usually with kids being taken from the home and sometimes never returned.
So, after that ongoing shitshow (no better word), I happen to have it out for ANYONE who makes a baseless allegation or is overly suspicious. It simply is out of order and will get me fired up. The best thing to do when I am in this state is to just let it ride for a day or two or maybe a week or two. This is a hint.... In the case of my wife, I was so pissed off (main circuit blown), that I kicked her out of the house while I was home. Thankfully, we had friends who lived half a block away with a spare bedroom where she could spend the nights until I was off to work. I just simply could not be under the same roof until I the meds kicked in and I heard her admit that she was out of line and that I was not some kind of pedophile monster. I think no one can comprehend until they have been in that withering situation for a few weeks, months or years. Yes, even a decade at varying degrees of the insanity. I am positive that it has taken years or even decades off of my life.
If she had accused me of something far worse - like killing or plotting to successfully kill one of the most important figures in earth's history - it would have been immediate and far more decisive. Nothing but tail lights on the horizon for her to look at. I had to place that shot across the bow very early in our relationship when my wife took a class in Women's Studies at BYU (from a disgraced and discredited "professor" - more like accuser) wherein the obvious wolf took some statements by some anti's and made Joseph out for a philanderer instead of someone who was sealed to the women - but not actively engaging in relations with them. She openly asserted in this class that Joseph fathered children by many of the 19 women he was sealed to while he was alive (many of whom were married for time to other men - that is truth), instead of even entertaining the notion that they fell pregnant by the ones they were having sex with: their husbands that they were married to for time. Most of these accusations coming from the guy who was actually philandering, John C Bennet. It was this poop that was being flung about by the Nauvoo Expositor that caused such outrage by Joseph that he did a "temple clearing move" and ordered the press destroyed as the Mayor of Nauvoo. This, of course, was not the best move in a tense environment and fanned the flames on First Amendment grounds that actually led to his death at the hands of the mob. Nothing to do with Brigham Young or John Taylor. Seriously! Anyway, I remember my wife, her sister and I were driving from Colorado to Utah on the Christmas Break after this class and she was bringing up the utter garbage from that class. As a newly-wed of only four months, I made it very clear that I thought the "professor" was full of poo and that, if I were going to give anyone the benefit of the doubt based on everything (works) and what I knew to be true, Joseph would get that benefit of the doubt until there were more facts and data. I very pointedly told my wife that if I had to cast my lots between my new bride and the Prophet, my lots were going with Joseph. Yep - harsh, but straight up. Today, I have learned to call it "setting boundaries". There was no negotiating on that point. I have expressed concern that the mother of one of kid's paramours is going to implode her marriage if she takes this Brigham murderer bullshit to heart. Her husband is faithful to the official narrative and likely will do what I did (or was willing to do to my wife) in the face of insane accusations against mere mortals - but damned good ones! Because, as I pointed out earlier, it will not stop with 1834 and allegations against the Higher Priesthood and the attendant temple ordinances, it will eventually end up with 1830-1834, then 1820-1830 and keep marching backwards until they will accuse the very Son of God of some kind of impropriety. Mark my words - this is how it goes down.
So, I am kind of in good company when I get pissed off by troublemakers flinging the poo. If Joseph trashed the press, the Savior overturned the tables and there is nothing but wild innuendo being tossed about in regards to Brigham (pure salacious shit of the highest order), I am casting my lot with Brigham. Plain and simple. Been there and done that. I know where this nasty slide into the abyss ends up.
Having said that, President Nelson really stepped in it hard with this whole needle thing. Having said that, the church has backed off from that ridiculous position. If they go there again, they are all fools or are under some kind of extreme duress/coercion. I think many of the best people (including those who are trying to explain away some of the stupidity by throwing Brigham and the Higher Priesthood under the bus) will simply fold if there is another round. The numbers have to be showing it. I sit all day across from the temple and I can tell that the parking lot is not even close to as full as it was prior to the plandemic - even thought ALL restrictions have been removed, not being summer, etc. All things being equal, I think things have taken a terrible toll. Far more than had that virtue signaling not taken place on Jan 20, 2021.
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