Well, I would not be writing this piece had a friend of mine not thrown her membership (the endowment, the temple ordinances, the baptismal ordinances, Priesthood authority and power) and so much else under the bus, when things got (admittedly) a little dicey with the whole needle hanging out of President Nelson's arm scenario. Since that time, it has been a pretty steady public attack of things that I hold sacred - all the while stating that no contention is intended by it. Well, if someone were to come out and, either privately or publicly, call my wife a whore while stating that it was not meant to be contentious, I would call BS at the very least and then would warn them that their teeth may be in danger of meeting their tonsils if they did not cease and desist. If not entirely making the meeting come about in order to defend my wife's good name and send a clear message.... I am just about as passionate for those who cannot defend themselves, who are convicted in the public court of opinion and under today's measuring stick and not under the measuring stick of the day. To illustrate this point; one comment on my friend's post was deriding the Lion House as if it were some filthy house of adultery or of some orgiastic meeting place of Brigham and his filthy or controlled women. Folks, I can assure you that Brigham (first of all) did not have anything to do with the murder of Joseph Smith. To assert that is pure mental illness and illogical beyond belief. Clearly not thought out, at a minimum. In a Levirite fashion, Brigham took on several of the living wives of Joseph who had no other means of support - in a day when there was NO other social safety net for widows, etc. The Lion House was built partly for that. Those that assert otherwise are logical Lilliputians - diminutive in thinking and rational logic.... Almost more than an engineer can deal with.... I can assure you that one of the great feminists of the day and occupants of the Lion House - and wife of both Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, Eliza R. Snow would have shut down anything that was beyond the pale in those circumstances. She was no slack. So, by inference, when you throw Brother Brigham under the bus, you also throw her under the bus as a stupid lackey who had no power to effect any change in an alleged twisted and horribly dysfunctional situation. And a woman who clearly backed the concept of plurality of wives, of which she partook.
So, if you choose, as a diminutive Lilliputian, to throw another great under the bus, be my guest - but it reflects more on your state of mind and your state of spiritual being than it does on the actual facts, events and goings on of the day. When logic breaks down and mental illness takes over (often fueled by instances of abuse - admittedly, many who seek to tear down the principles laid out in Section 132 as nefarious or aggregious abuses of women, are simply those who have been victims of abuse and see things through a colored lens instead of things as they are), the agenda is manifest. Sadly, in my friend's case, she is a victim of her dad's sexual deviancy. That is indeed beyond sad. My wife was also a victim of this at the hands of her drunken step-dad. But, where things went south in my friend's arguments, was that she was somehow a "child bride" of her father and that this was somehow tied into Brigham's "twisted" practices with underage girls, etc (none of which I am aware of). The logical fallacies are too many to get into right now. In the twisted thinking of someone who has been sexually abused - it is impossible to ferret logic out. I know because I have dealt with my wife's condition and sometimes false allegations and/or assumptions for the last two decades when the manic mind has taken over. I know the patterns quite well.
So, having given that background, I will get into my story of my testimony of plural marriage. It is a long and sordid tale, so I hope you will bear with me and enjoy this ride.
It all started with the loss of my middle child to SIDS:
Most posts to this blog are of a second coming nature - not personal - but this one was so huge and so impacting to me, I have to add something about it. This is a work in progress as I have more time. I literally could write a book on what my wife and I went through and still not get through it all.
On April 4th, 2002 at approx. 1:45am, our lives were changed forever when our little Dallin Jacob Wood was called home to prepare for what most of us will probably go through in our lifetimes. The massive influx of people into the Spirit World as the world goes through the massive upheavals that are soon to be upon us. While we are organized here and have much work to do for our temporal salvation, there is much that is going on "over there" that requires manpower, organization, and direction. This "seed blog entry" will get rather enormous as time goes on. I had an old friend from Facebook mention that her mother had died - a truly wonderful woman whose time it simply was to go home for a purpose few of us here might understand. Here is a note that I sent her:
Vicki,I was sorry to hear about your mother. Without regular contact, I just assumed Victor and your mother were living out their lives. I saw your dad was on FB. I am sure it simply was her time to go - there is so much more going on over there than we can imagine. The work to redeem the human family is massive and accelerating beyond our comprehension as the millennium approaches.I will not force it on you - and would be more than happy to pop a copy of that book (Life Everlasting) I mentioned in the mail - but it is a most amazing work. Death is really just a change of state to a greater and more exciting part of the adventure of our eternal life. Just let me know if you are interested in the book. Like I said, it is so good that I keep loaners around for interested people.Yes, our little guy was called home around 9 months old and it really was supposed to happen. I was actually supposed to go home that year that he was taken home - and had known that since a few months before I came home from my mission. My wife just brushed me off as crazy when I turned 33 and would not follow my advice to seek out a life insurance policy big enough to take care of her and the kids if I were taken (her own father was taken in the Vietnam war and Shawna and her mother were left with few options). Notwithstanding the fact she didn't take me seriously, my wife had a premonition of impending death two weeks before Dallin's death and was literally allowed to choose that it not be me who was sent home on errand. Maybe a little hard to comprehend, but a true statement. My Grandpa Matheson, the old Cedar City Stake Patriarch was calling the shots from the other side and needed help. Off the charts wild - but we had three independent people in our family that had simultaneous manifestations within a day or two that confirmed it. I had an incredible 2 yr. mission by any stretch - similar to John H. Groberg's - but losing our little guy was THE most spiritually affirming thing that has ever happened to me/us. It was pretty hard on the oldest two kids, though. They were too young to fully comprehend what was going on.I run a blog that has some pretty wild stuff like this in it and I just have not had the time to get the whole scenario down - but at some point, I will blog all of the incredible things that happened to us. I can honestly say that I know that God lives and there is an entire "situation" around us that most people simply do not comprehend or have an awareness of. The veil was very thin for months after he crossed over.Anyway, sorry to get so deep but I just have to pass on the hope and insight I have gained.Thanks for sharing about your mother - I wasn't sure if it would be polite to ask in a public forum.
Iraq.
Here is a wonderful quote by Joseph Smith on the death of a loved one:
I think this quote sums this little guy's life up,
"The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning, we have reason to rejoice, as they are delivered from evil and we shall soon have them again. The only difference between the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven in eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Notwithstanding all this glory, we for a moment, lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope (through Christ).
Joseph Smith.
Another blog piece on this topic:
I just got done reading a thoughtful blog on the topic - I like to read up on this topic that seems to bring out so much human angst and emotion. In my marriage to my sweetheart, we have shared many a heart-felt hour poring over the topic. We both are at peace with the doctrine - 18 years later. BTW - I have no intention of attempting it in this life - way too much difficulty in providing for my small family and meeting all the needs of them and my dear wife. The challenges of another set of logistics would be daunting - the daily crush of meeting just the basic physical needs of one family unit is just too much. However, I know it is completely possible to make it happen - especially in a place where temporal matters do not exist.
Clearly, Abraham and most all of the greats of time participated in it and Jesus himself apparently did having at least two, if not three wives that we are aware of. Jesus put his stamp on it when he declared that he does the works that Abraham did (what else could that mean?) and that Abraham himself was enthroned in heaven as a God. If Abraham were a vile person, that statement simply would NOT have been made. So, what does all this mean?
It comes down to personal testimony and a deep and abiding understanding/testimony of the law of consecration and stewardship (simply being asked to take care of something to the full measure of its necessity, and then doing it). When my wife was struggling with the effects of mental illness tied to the lack of B-12 in her diet and post-partum issues (an earlier post), I was beside myself and wanted to walk away. It was in my extremity that I had a heavenly intervention and fully learned the concept of consecration and stewardship. It was at that point that I feel I won the (true) love of my wife and the approbation of God. I had prayed mightily and asked to be released from that trial - and indeed received permission to walk away, if that were my choice as there is true agency in everything - but I also would have sacrificed ALL blessings tied to enduring to the end and never learned the pivotal lesson of life and Christ-like living.
So what does this have to do with polygamy? My mother passed away six months after my wife and I lost our 9 month old son. Before she died, I remember her many times telling my father that he was under no circumstances to marry another woman if she were to go first. Precisely because she would potentially have another to deal with on the other side - and did not want things to be messy. One thing my mother was - was the stereotypical jealous woman. If another woman so much as gave my father a sideways glance, my mother was all over it. I was intrigued by that human characteristic in my mother as I watched it growing up. So, the night my kid passed away, I was blessed with a particularly poignant dream in which I was shown what would befall my wife and I for the next three years as we passed through the healing process of losing our little treasure from heaven. The second part of that dream involved knowing that "everything would be alright" given with a distinct sign. We puzzled over that until my father gave me a call out of the blue a month after my mother died on Christmas day. He related that my boy and my mother had visited him in the night in an open (waking) vision and had set the record straight and given him other counsel. My boy was just there as a bonus or priesthood representative (he had been called over to the other side by my G-g-gfather because "he needed more help attending to family business"). Well, Dallin (my boy) was helping out with that kind of thing obviously in a big way. The one portion of the message my mother gave to my father was that she was wrong in her desire that he not marry another and that he should proceed as soon as possible and be fulfilled and happy in the remaining years of his life. My boy in his spirit form and according to my father, was slightly taller and broader shouldered than I was when I was in my prime at around 25 years of age. He described my mother as in her prime - about how she looked like when she and my father were married in their mid-twenties. So, for all the people who struggle with that doctrine of God - and I am not aware of too many women that don't - here is my little piece of the puzzle. I know my dad is not making it up (speaking strictly from a logical standpoint) so that he could run off and immediately get re-married without waiting the requisite 2-3 year period, as some of my female siblings have accused.... I know that, simply because he did not know the details of the second portion of my dream I had the night my kid died and could not have known exactly how those details dovetailed into the impeccable timing of his phone call to me. A complete improbability. It simply happened, as stated.
So many people will kick against the pricks - many will leave the Church and allow themselves all kinds of excuses based on that doctrine that seems to be even more divisive than even the hellish practice of abortion. After what my wife and I have passed thru, it is safe to say that we understand the concept of stewardship as God intended it. When our child was called over to the other side to accomplish God's purposes, our time of nurturing was over and we had to comply with a heavy heart but with an attitude of "Not my will, but thine be done". Not quite an Abrahamic test by any means; as our son was not handed over, nor did we have to build an altar and gather the sticks for the ultimate test in obedience, but when it was all said and done, we did have to endure with faith and without angry recrimination at God for having allowed us to pass through such a trial as that one.
Reading some of the early writings of how the wives of polygamous marriages gained a "testimony" of the principle, I am astounded at their faith. God did not leave them alone to mourn - but gave most all of them fantastic experiences in order to endure their ordeal in faith and long-suffering; just as my wife and I were given our faith-building experience in the face of tragedy.
Here is the quote from the blog topic on plural marriage that got me going down this bunny trail:
My wife’s ancestor, Sarah Levitt, was present during the early Nauvoo period. She asked her husband if she would have to share him. He encouraged her to pray about it. She had a dream. In the dream she was told that she wouldn’t have to share her husband (he died later). She wrote that she had a vision of the heavenly order and the beauty of it. She also wrote that the practice would be the means of “saving thousands and damning thousands. It was too sacred for fools to handle.”
Truly, the most powerful doctrines of the restored gospel are too powerful for fools to handle - precisely why they are so divisive and are used to separate the wise and foolish virgins in preparation for the glory that may come in the following life, if obedience is the outcome and not the rebellion of the "wise and learned" who think to counsel God and his servants.
Please don't write terribly long paragraphs. They should be broken down into smaller chunks.... easier on the eyes.
ReplyDeleteJust was reading 2 Nephi 27. The last few versus teach all of us, not just the followers of DoC some very important points.
ReplyDeleteMeek is teachable. I have noticed some patterns in people being or feeling open-minded. Some are close-minded to the point that they, like the Jews in Christ time, would never stray or entertain anything beyond what was taught to them, even if it came from the Savior.
Some are open-minded to the point that they open themselves or entertain doctrinal or historical possibilities that they have never entertained before, but they never question them again. They never entertain anything beyond that paradym again. They don’t entertain whether parts of that could be wrong or not include more full truth. So they think they are open-minded because they have changed, or bucked the system, or are a special group saved out. The stop checking themselves, and being open-minded to the weaknesses of that current paradigm. They stop asking God if there is anything he can show them they are wrong about.
So with each nugget of knowledge, we need to pray as Joseph Smith did in the sacred forest outside his home. We also need to compare with existing scripture/revelation from the Lord’s servants. Joseph followed this comparing step by reading, and, pondering, studying the Bible. He also pondered what current leaders were preaching. When there began to be contradictions, he took it to the Lord with faith, believing that he would receive an answer.
So we need to be teachable meek.
Then we need to be careful we are not making someone out to be an offender for the word on more that these scriptures say.
And when we find that we are wrong, or that there could be a possibility that we could be wrong, or that there is a possibility we are right about much, but still wrong (or could be wrong) about some things, that we can take that possible error to the Lord, ask for charity, ask for correction if needed, and pray for understanding. The last verse gives us much hope, even if we have errored… which we all do to some degree. We either don’t believe enough truth… or we believe everything and have very little or know spiritual filters. Joseph Smith and other servants in the scriptures taught us how to get spiritual filters.
So here are the amazing versus in 2 Nephi 27 near the end, which I just read that I realized tied in beautifully to this blog piece. They are in the next comment…
“very little or no spiritual filters” was intended.
Delete2 Nephi 27:30-35
ReplyDelete30 And the meek also shall increase, and their joy shall be in the Lord, and the poor among men shall rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.
31 For assuredly as the Lord liveth they shall see that the terrible one is brought to naught, and the scorner is consumed, and all that watch for iniquity are cut off;
32 And they that make a man an offender for a word, and lay a snare for him that reproveth in the gate, and turn aside the just for a thing of naught.
33 Therefore, thus saith the Lord, who redeemed Abraham, concerning the house of Jacob: Jacob shall not now be ashamed, neither shall his face now wax pale.
34 But when he seeth his children, the work of my hands, in the midst of him, they shall sanctify my name, and sanctify the Holy One of Jacob, and shall fear the God of Israel.
35 They also that erred in spirit shall come to understanding, and they that murmured shall learn doctrine.
I am Mrs. Woodzone and I would like to clarify a few things in the hope that it may be helpful to some who struggle where I have struggled.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you cannot help how you feel. Well, we can help how how feel to an extent by our intents, desires, and actions. We don’t have to feel that way forever, but to deny how we are feeling about something can be destructive in that there is a blockage in the channel through which the Holy Ghost cannot flow, if we pretend everything is fine, and this happens over and over through the course of time. Denying or suppressing our feelings about something is like stuffing up a volcano. However, adding the equivalent of gasoline to our doubts of fire when we do not have a fire extinguisher or any of the proper tools of evaluation and discernment is also not the way to go, either.
There are different reasons that people deny their feelings about something. It may rock their world. They don’t want to hurt others. They don’t want others to hurt them. They are afraid it may involve change. And other reasons.
So there are healthy ways to approach growth, learning, and spiritual and historical exploration and there are unhealthy ways to approach these.
So to clarify one thing about Mr Woodzone’s post: yes it has been about two decades that I have managed my mental illness. First, I would like to describe the years that I was not diagnosed as mentally ill—bi-polar to be exact—I always forget which kind of bp I am, but this is not important, I don’t think.
ReplyDeleteWhen I encountered new information, I at first tested it. I only tested gospel things by praying about them and studying them. I did evaluate secular things by praying about them; I just accepted they were true because some accreditation or institution did. But if the new information came from a lofty source, collegiate source, published source, etc., I failed to take it first to my Father in Heaven, even though I still did study and evaluate it, but I did two things which were in error, but I was pretty young still. One error, was having no filters—trusting completely in the arm of the flesh that was giving it to me, hook, line, and sinker— not putting the new information in a probationary place in my brain/mind to be intellectually, factually or historically studied and then also to be spiritually prayed about. I jumped to a very rapid conclusion, and let that be my new paradigm.
The second error I made was to again trust in the arm of the flesh and bounce it off someone who shamed me and so I eventually stuffed this new information until I was more mature in many areas to explore it again. Some of this new information was accurate and some of it was inaccurate. Time and science and other spiritual things proved some of it true and some of it false.
But when I was ready to explore properly, I went to my Father in Heaven first. I kept studying the knowledge that I knew to be true while I explored the history or the new information. I asked Father not to be deceived. I asked Father for forgiveness in jumping to conclusions to quickly and asked if he would ask certain individuals for forgiveness that I had accused. I did not accuse publicly, but I had accused in my mind and also within relationship circles. Now wondering is different than accusing, so I had jumped from the wondering part to the accusing part. I think wondering is similar to not denying or suppressing a feeling. It may be wrong; it may be right. Family members know that I have been very right about things that were mere feelings. I have also been wrong about things that were based on feelings.
Typo—“I didn’t (did not) evaluate secular things…
DeleteTypo—“jumping to conclusions too quickly.”
DeleteThe mental illness that Mr. Woodzone referred to, developed over time due to many spokes in the wheel, and lead to a state of awareness that actually enabled me to suspend what seemed like two completely contrary things in my mind and find the linking puzzle piece or context that actually connected them. One does not have to be mentally ill to achieve this. Some solve very difficult problems in their sleep when they reach their theta or delta phase and can solve very difficult and complex problems. Not one size fits all. I was actually less accusatory in my mental illness than I was before I became mentally ill, probably because I relied on Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ with all my heart.
ReplyDeleteBut for me the “racing thoughts” are me running different scenarios, different patterns, different possible reasons, different possible outcomes…too hard to describe. It is difficult to stop thinking about it. Satan can take that tendency and turn it into obsessiveness. So in the mental illness, if I fail to rely on Father in Heaven, I get overcome with anxiety, paranoia, delusions, obsession, lack of balance, destructive mistrust to an extreme (the opposite of trusting in the arm of the flesh; not trusting anybody or very few), and other negative emotions and behaviour. If I rely on Father in Heaven, then I get ephiphanies, overlays, analogies, that clear things up, fit with existing true doctrine, and come with very great feelings of love and peace.
Occasionally, I can pray to Father and still an intense bout of anxiety will come. This usually is not in conjunction with seeking for truth but is in relation to concern for a family member.
These negative emotional experiences are tied to past baggage I have not shed from prior traumatic events in my life that I had not worked through. I also assume they may be compounded by cellular memories passed on through my genes to me from preceding family members. They could be from social pressure in a wicked world. They may be compounded from a tendency of mine to jump to conclusions and not wait until there is enough evidence to begin to make an accurate and authentic exploration.
So my mental illness has been a curse. It has also aided me or the state of mind has aided me to understand things, to know where and how to help a family member.
Sometimes, I am wrong as I journey and self-correct. Admitting when I have been wrong and asking forgiveness allows the laws of Heaven to trust me with information again. When I have not admitted, I have stagnated. Sometimes I have to be patient because I don’t know if I am wrong or right about something. One time, I had to wait fourteen years to find out. Sometimes I am wrong in the present or appear to be wrong in the present, only to find out I was right in the future, so it can be perplexing.
So in the context of learning and not getting trapped in pre-existing notions, as Mr Woodzone referred to, we just have to remain teachable. If being open-minded once helped us to understand something and leave a pharisaical perspective, we need to not remain stuck in that new paradigm by refusing to leave that or throw out the incorrect notions that may have entered with some accurate truths. Satan is going to throw in false with truth when we encounter new information or else he cannot confuse us. If we do not realize this, we are at a serious disadvantage when encountering data, history, scholarship. Not everything we think is true. Not everything we feel is wrong. This world would make us think we have to make an instant decision. (In some rare cases we do.). But we can be patient with praying about and studying something. Most of the time, we do not have to be in a hurry or rushed to come to a conclusion. And if we have come to a conclusion, we can modify, adjust or change it according to new evidence, new truth. If we could just learn from pure truth to begin with, it would be more efficient, but we would lose the character we build in learning in a telestial planet where things are governed by Newtonian physics.
ReplyDeleteSo studying and praying about the Book of Mormon truths and doctrines, which literally gives one a standard by which to measure things by. The Book of Mormon is the gold standard of which to measure things by. Science, NASA, they all have something that is their gold standard to base something else off of.
You can know pure doctrine without knowing pure history, but I believe we can come to know both. My point is Satan’s followers will get us to throw everything out eventually, if he can chisel at pure faith by mixing a lot of truth with a little error. Then exploit the error.
So if we we have doubts, we need not suppress. We pray to Father and do not trust in the arm of the flesh. Father will give us promptings of when, where, how, to explore new information and what to compare it with (original sources are more helpful than another’s secondary interpretation.) He will let us know if we should not explore something at a certain space and time, or until a certain space and time. Father will lead us to humans (for some others) who are honest, who he gives us promptings to trust in our explorations of new information. Some of these humans are on the earth now. Some of these humans have lived on the earth and have gone.
We have got to desire the Holy Ghost so much that we don’t want to be without it, so that our conscience can be sharp, so that we are quick to observe, so that we are quick to compare with trusted instruments of truth, so that we are quick to change course if needed—yet we aren’t afraid to learn more.
This is my quest. I only wrote this so those of us with baggage know we can be healed, we can change course. That it is okay to say we are sorry or where we were wrong. All of us have notions that are off, and we get refined. But if we can greatly hurt another or many others’ progress with being off when it comes to truth, I feel we really should all have the desire to just suspend something (in a probationary place or state), until we get more knowledge, and then when we share it, and it will be truly helpful, and it will be beneficially true.
The first 15 minutes of this… about using present day attitudes to judge a past practice, the three (or four S’s), in Come Follow Me Section 132 presented by Jared Halverson.
ReplyDeletehttps://youtu.be/j5C1KTlQNzo