Monday, August 15, 2022

SWAPPING PLACES - A KATE BUSH SONG

 Most that know me know that I like expressive songs (that convey a concept or are incredibly artistic).  One of them that I heard very occasionally in the 1980's was called Running Up That Hill.  The artist, Kate Bush, was in her 20's when she came up with it.  The video is incredibly artistic and poignant.  I just love it - and I am not really into interpretive dance - but this is incredibly good.

This song, since it came out in the mid-80's, has hit top 10 in Britain three times.  VERY rarely will a song hit with successive generations like this one has.  The deep ones always do; like Hotel California, for example.  It just keeps on - so timeless.

The thing that draws me to this is that I am able to relate so well to the concept that two people - a man and a woman - can see things so far differently and have such different life experiences, as to be unrelatable to each other.  I think God put the two yings and yangs together, if you will, in order to more perfectly enrich each of the two sexes, that alone could never be completely done.  Two gay males or two lesbian females will never have the richness of a relationship of a heterosexual couple.  A woman on woman or man on man relationship may be more satisfying sexually because, for example, a woman may be able to identify emotions that happen during ovulation that a man will never get, or understand nearly perfectly the pleasure that the other woman is receiving during a sexual act, so there is a closeness in that way, but they may "get" each other better, but they will never have the true richness (yes, as much as I despise that word) or diversity or breadth that a true man/woman relationship can have.  Likely, Ann Heche found this out....  Yes, it is probably a little early for that comment....  But, yet - the average male is completely clueless on how a complex woman works and struggles trying to figure it out.  Many times, the same thing as the woman tried to navigate the man's world.   I think that is part of the struggle of mortality in a fallen world.  It simply is meant to be hard.  I should know.  I have navigated 30 years (today) of marriage with all of it's joys and pitfalls.

In our case, it has not been easy because of external factors, etc.  In a perfect situation (enough food, love, money, shelter, basic needs, etc) where there is little stress, marriage takes negotiation, respect, common values and so much else, in order to succeed.  It is not for the faint of heart.  I have a kid who is in her first serious relationship and I am trying to gently convey what learning I have acquired on the subject so that she can make the best decision in an eternal companion.  I love that girl fiercely, so I would like to see her succeed and squash it.  She has the best characteristics of both her parents - so she deserves a wonderful spouse.  Truth is, we all attract our best selves and our worst selves.  In other words, we get what we deserve and what will give us the best mortal experience.

This song also conveys the concept that we are given an eternal companion to enlarge us.  If left to our own devices, we would shrivel and never meet our God-given potential.  But rarely does the man "get" the woman, and vice-versa.  Often that learning only comes through the Spirit - and I have found that many relationships fail due to selfishness which is often accompanied, or the result of the lack of the Spirit in our lives due to transgression, sins of omission, etc etc.  My marriage was hitting the rocks hard at what I call the seven year itch, to the point that I sought counsel of a young Bishop whom I liked very much (he was older than me by about 10 years).  He told me to just give up my petty differences and just serve my wife.  It really did bring about a change in my relationship.  Any time things have gotten off track, it is because I quit serving her (and she the same to me).  Very simple solution.  The old adage of each giving 110% is true.

Sometimes, due to illness or tragedy, one person has to serve 150% and carry the load for some time.  My wife has had multiple hospitalizations due to mental illness issues - most of it triggered by life experiences.  It shifts a mighty load onto the other partner - sometimes resulting in resentment, etc.  But there is always a way to understand the other person.  For example, I have never understood the delusional mind (other than I think I am incredibly good looking....) until I was in the hospital and on fentanyl while I was vented for two weeks.  I was completely hallucinating and out of my mind.  It was terrifying (some of the delusions were incredibly powerful) and fascinating in hindsight.  Coolest thing ever - when I was on the good trips.  I could be a junkie in a heartbeat, given the right circumstances (but I hate pants that don't ride high on my waist....).  But what I walked away from that with, was an understanding of the mindset that someone with a hormonally/chemically-induced condition would experience.  I finally "got" my wife and her condition and many others who are homeless.

My oldest daughter has the same condition as my wife.  My wife was able to go spend a few months getting her back on track and functioning in society once again once she was released from the hospital.  My wife was able to succor her needs because she "gets" her.  As with me with my wife and my wife to her daughter, patience was never always there - but the understanding of what was going on, was there.  It was eye-opening.

My wife was a barely functioning adult back in 2015, to the point that I took one half of the year off for FMLA so I could help get her through her tough spot.  It was in that year that she took counseling from Spencer of Visions of Glory.  I was pretty much her caretaker for the time I was off with her.  We took an epic 6 week vacation to all the sites on the East Coast including the summer pageants, etc.  It was a killer vacay.  But I pulled up most of the slack when she was not able to.

In the past year, I have had Covid and long Covid and have become quite the couch potato.  My wife has had to pull up the slack for me.  It is the give and take of a relationship.  So, this song about making a deal with God to swap places so each of us can understand the point of view of the other, is fascinating.

So yeah, give this a gander and feel the message.  Very interesting song and video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp43OdtAAkM&list=RDwp43OdtAAkM&start_radio=1

Enjoy!!

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