Well, I promised someone at the Edmonton temple a couple of weeks ago that I would send them a copy of EJ Wood's diary (or biography). This Brother had been admonished by his Patriarch to study the life of the man - in his PB that was given over 30 years ago. Well, he had not done it, until I brought up the subject - and he asked if we were related. The answer is yes - but back several generations.
Sooo.... I could not even search my own archives until I re-released them for public viewing. I have been wanting to do it for some time; and to also give the reason why I pulled them back for those who were curious. I have to say here that the blog was sparse back in 2009. I was not doing daily articles or commentary. But the articles were QUITE GOOD. If you have the time and want interesting reading, I recommend doing it. I have heard from at least two readers who have read all of the articles, which amount to around 4500. Some are a complete waste of time - others a mind-blowing considering where we were, to where we have come to in the present day. You will find a common theme. Talk of financial collapse (we now have double the 10 trillion debt that we had back then) and the stock-market is spiraling up as a sign of either inflation or irrational exuberance prior to a collapse), trouble with Russia and China and a clear move towards Civil War II, as I call it. My attempts to put a timeline on things have failed almost perfectly - as one can expect - but the prophetic premises are WAY more valid than they were back then. Chaos from within, followed by domination by powers from without. We are clearly on track. Exactly how or when? Who knows.... I have pretty much thrown in the towel on guessing - but am glad I have gotten my family to a place where we are surrounded by sane and normal people (as God defines them), not as GLAAD or NAMBLA defines them....
This is as important for a diary entry as anything - and the story needs to be told for posterity purposes. Since this is an anonymous blog other than a few children who may read it, I can talk about this kind of stuff openly without slandering the people involved. I figure if someone gets some utility out of it for their own lives, then it is a good thing.
So, about three years ago, my MIL was living with us (I had been prompted to do so in order to lend support to my wife who had been struggling at the time and to give my MIL a fresh shot at a "normalized" life with her extended family). She was raised in a toxic environment (father/mother were alkies and she was largely neglected growing up). I never objected to how she raised my wife until there were issues of abuse and her marriage broke up. At that point, my wife was off on a mission and off to college away from the drama and badness that reared it's ugly head over time. When I was married to my wife, my MIL was just shy of being temple ready or worthy - and she did not actually attend our sealing for reasons that are strictly hers and none of my business. She did express resentment that she did not get to be there physically (although it would have been open to anyone who could answer about 10 simple questions in the affirmative - ie, it had more to do with her, than it did with "the Church" or any other person).
From that point, things began to slide for her - to the point that she went completely inactive, blaming it on a host of things like lack of attention by HTs, too much attention by HTs, being shunned in the ward and so much else. Extrapolating my own behavior and that of so many others - it just comes down to ONE thing; SIN. Sorry - no matter how you slice it or dice it, that is always the root cause and why NO ONE will get a pass in the judgment except those who see things for what they are, confess that Jesus is the path out of the abyss they have dug for themselves and grab hold of the Atonement while is yet day. There is NO OTHER PATH. Nope. NONE. Truly, every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is the Christ in the final conclusion. The only question that remains, is whether that knowledge is found early - and taken advantage of while it is "yet day" and our labors can STILL be performed in this life. There is NO SUCH thing as deathbed repentance. Sorry - it simply is disingenuous and a bad premise. Sorry if you are Catholic with your last rites - it is a damnable and incorrect practice to "clear" a wicked person at the last minute. The Book of Mormon is VERY clear that the spirit that we possess at the time that we pass over is what we have with us when we face Father for a final accounting and we are weighed in the balance. Thus it behooves EVERY man/woman to get their crap together while we still have an operable body to do it in, and subject the will of our flesh, to that of God's. Last minute arrangements are a joke and a travesty against Justice, while attempting to warp common sense and the bounds of Mercy.
Things got so bad at one point with my MIL, that I found myself having to defend common sense things why alcohol consumption was a bad thing (especially from someone who later ended up with a kid in multiple rehab clinic visits as the offspring of Grandparents who were raging alcoholics), to why marijuana usage was no big deal, to bending the rules on relationships and why lesbian love is not that bad. Each encounter was an attempt to sway my lines in the sand - of which I was having none of it.
Fast forward 10-15 years and I go to visit a mission baptism who is now a grown woman and married to a BYU-Law student. Her mother was visiting and the SIL was being so kind and good to his MIL that I was pricked in my heart and wondered if I had changed my attitude to my MIL, if that would maybe bring about positive change in the dynamic between us. Things had already thawed out a little bit, and I actually had the Spirit witness to me to make inroads to me - which I did.
The end result was us hatching a plan to move to MT and homestead there. It was a good chance to reset things and maybe have it be a positive thing in many areas. My MIL is VERY good at sewing, canning, gardening and many other skills - and I was hoping that exposure to her would rub off positively on my kids and wife. And it did in those areas - but there was always an undercurrent going on of a sinister nature. When older HPs from the ward would visit - a hand shake was NOT allowed; ever, if I remember right. There were other antagonisms expressed and the old spiral that I had witnessed in the early 1990's began to manifest itself once again. My wife, who is very sweet and can get along with anyone, began to have serious issues with her own mother. Thankfully, I was not there day to day to witness it - but then the stress began to spill over into my wife's sense of well-being and I began to worry. In the end, most of my time with her was spent whisking her away from her own mother for couple getaways - which left my kids with the woman. This - was - a - bad - thing..... My wife became privy to a conversation she had with our two oldest that was full-on inappropriate (not backing our value set).
At that point, I determined it was time to punch out and run for the exits. Now, you have to know that our goal was to eventually get to Canada in the Cardston area where I felt it was best for raising kids. At that point, I had no way to go there - except I knew my mother was a Canadian citizen. I started digging into that possibility - but not in earnest until a keystone event. My MIL started acting strangely over some issues she was having with a tenant of a place in Oregon. Making accusations that did not entirely make sense (strong paranoia). She made a trip out there to address them and then suddenly came back to MT. When she arrived, she was still highly unstable and had not slept a bunch. Maybe for a week or more. Driving over to MT, at the same time, I hit a deer doing 70mph - and I thank that deer for it's role in the whole affair - and I basically totaled my son's Honda that I had just rebuilt the front end of the previous three months. I was able to limp the last 150 miles to MT in it with the brand new radiator compromised and head lights busted out - but had to get parts for it, as my wife's car suddenly had a starter die in it and I had just sold our other two cars that I would normally have had for backups. We were down to one trusty truck that I love for that reason. It all came to a head in a perfect storm - and I HAD to get my son's car on the road again. I was repairing it when my MIL flew into a rage (she just let the fur fly including many F-bombs and attacks on me in front of my kids). That was the end of it for me. She was diagnosed with BPD by a professional - and I was done dealing with my confirmation of that diagnosis.....
Now, looking back - I am extremely grateful for that deer and that we got out of there. I told her that we needed to part company. She refused to leave. I told her that we would locate as far away across town as is possible because I did not like her influence around my kids. It had become toxic. She then said she would locate next to us and basically harass us if we did not feel that she could be around. At that point - I was ready for Canada..... More miles, more distance, etc. I totally get why satan was cast down and out and away and will be to Outer Darkness (soon enough, once his role is over). Sometimes, you just gotta take the trash to the curb! Or leave the dump, as the case may be. I elected to leave the dump......
When we got our affairs in order (had an amazing estate sale and cleared the place out), my Canadian citizenship was still not solid. A phone call to Ottawa left me with the idea that we could just move up with the paperwork in place as "settlers on the land". I loaded our 24' trailer to the gills for the first load and hit the border crossing - and I never plan to do anything like it ever again - it was a serious leap of faith. When they asked what my status was, I told them that I was moving to Canada as a "settler on the land" and that my certificate of citizenship would show up sometime in the future. The poor guy just looked at me with a blank stare. I was naïve - so I had confidence that everything was in order. He went and consulted with his superiors and then waved us through after we worked out our bill of lading. I am positive he simply could have turned us away - but it did not happen.
The rest is history and my family now has full Permanent Residence and things are moving along after quite a bit of lawyering and mountains of paperwork that my wife has plowed through. Thus the reason I am not too sympathetic to illegals crossing the border in the south. I cannot imagine just waltzing across for a "visit" and staying indefinitely. There is a process in place. The Canadians are not mean nor insensitive - but they insisted that we follow the process. I cannot imagine doing it any other way.
So, the reason I turned the blog archives off..... My MIL just simply has an evil/vindictive streak in her. I was able to glean from neighbors and a phone call from my daughter that she wanted to have her drive into Canada and bring my two daughters back to the States because she was somehow trying to make the case that I was mentally unstable for moving the clan up there. That all this talk of CWII, Russians on the East Coast and mixing it up with the Chinese and financial collapse were all part of a deranged mind. My guess is that once the girls were south of the border, she would attempt to have some court order or something drawn up making her custodian of the kids. That is just a guess - based on others around her who were reporting that she was actually using a PI to track our whereabouts. My wife DID actually have someone follow her home one day - yep, this lady is a piece of work - and I am horrified that my children have ANY of her blood flowing in their veins..... Even though it is just hearsay, I can believe all of it. Considering the fact that she recorded EVERY phone call of my wife and I during our engagement - and then tried to take statements from those calls and drive a wedge between my wife and I after our marriage - is just twisted and shows what kind of a person she is..... (no, there was nothing unbecoming on those calls, like there might have been on hers when she found out that she was pregnant on her third date with the man that became her second husband.....).
As if her track record of raising kids with value sets that would lead to productive lives (she does have several that are great including two out of seven including my wife who still lead active lives in the Gospel - but there is the alcoholism and drug use theme in several of the rest). So, out of concern that the blog would be used against me - especially my rantings about the sitting prez - I shut down the archives. I think her craziness has subsided - at least I can hope....., so I turned it back on today. I still consider that decision of inclusion, the WORST decision I have ever made in my life. Now, if I see someone who is crazy and who has an evil or vindictive streak, I run for the exits - or at least limit my exposure or exposure to my family to a minimum (including the stalkers, dweebs, trolls and other malcreants and mis-contents on this blog).... As the Elizabeth Smart family found out, things can turn south quickly when you let them into your lives.....
As a parting note, I was sitting on a mountain side in Colorado with my wife's abuser back in 2006, telling him the ripple effects his selfish acts had on my wife. He profusely apologized to me (which is all I can ask - and thanked him for that), and we were talking about his ex-wife, my MIL, and he said that she was completely cray-cray. I am an optimist - and try to look for even the tiniest shred of goodness in someone. BUT - I have to say after all of the above ^^^^ drama - he was SPOT on.
And, the only way out is booking about four hours with a Bishop and starting from the beginning with every minor indiscretion and throw the big ones in. A stable mind starts with a mind free from burdens. Then clean living. Over time, the mind will release the burdens and guilt and a start can be had back to sane living. But then, that would just be too easy now, wouldn't it??
There is a path - and it is quite clear. The adversary will do ANYTHING to keep someone from that path. And so, looking up at the serpent on the staff, can be so difficult for most.
As for setbacks in life, do not speak ill of them. You just may never know when it will make for a remarkable turn for you and yours. For Joseph Smith, it was a volcano that exploded in the Pacific Ocean and caused severe winters, where they lost their farm and had to find a new place in a more hospitable clime - where the most amazing thing could unfold in the history of this world.
For my lesser situation, it was a humble deer that decided to dart out into the road, that led to a series of F-bombs (a serious no-no with me) and complete disrespect in front of my children and basically being driven by circumstance to Canada for relief. We will see how the rest of the saga pans out. Hopefully the cray-cray is contained and it is smooth sailing. If not - life will move along, as it always manages to.
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