This was written after the following rant: I have to say here before sounding like I absolutely cannot stand my wife - that she is one of the most principled people I know. Her character is almost unimpeachable - except for her trust of men (for obvious reasons). This character is the reason I have stuck by her. After this fire she (we) has passed through, I expect great things - if she makes it. If not - it was a wild and awesome ride...... That simply is how I view it. Also, my wife is not a tranny - so far as I can tell. Neither automatic, nor manual.
Here is my "pre-Spencer" rant. Hoping that a little faith (of yours and mine), will precede this miracle:
So my wife took a Women's Studies class from an apostate woman (BYU "professor") in the early 1990's. Unfortunately, she took everything the woman said, hook line and sinker and it kind of shook her views on Joseph Smith for some time.
I was pretty pissed at the time - because I was certain I was marrying a devout RM who had a rock-solid testimony of Joseph Smith - and I was, in reality, getting damaged goods (who had serious trust issues with men). It was almost as if I were taking a beautiful virginal woman across the threshold to consummate the marriage, only to "unwrap" the gift and find yourself staring at a cross-dressing, hairy tranny and asking yourself, "What the HECK did I just do??". Except this was spiritual "flip-flopping". In the tradition of all the apostates in one of her spiritually dead family lines. Just lovely.
So, after one heated argument where she impinged on the character of Joseph Smith one too many times for me (basically said he was a philanderer six months after we were married), I let her have it both barrels and told her that she was going to pay a heavy price for impinging on the character of a good man (I knew at that point, if she would turn on him, she would turn on me) - and I had an inkling she might even turn on God himself at some point (which she did to some degree). The whole time, I am trying to raise a family and maintain our family value set and keep our ship's course on a sustainable setting.
To say the least, it has been hell for me to witness this whole mess.
I am not saying that our son's death was part of this "redemptive" process she has had to go through - but around the time he passed at 9 months, she was magnanimous enough to finally "clear" Joseph's name and ask forgiveness (even though she still harbors the thought to this day that he fooled around with other women - and fathered children with them). I know he was sealed to more than one woman - dozens to be exact. I have never had a problem with that. I am even quite positive that Eliza R. Snow may have been carrying his child (rumor at this point) when she was living under his roof and things got very heated with Emma over this "sanctioned" relationship, just as it did with Sarah and her "hand-maid", Hagar. I have always said that the best blood in this Church would have been posterity of Joseph and Eliza. Those two were the closest in parity of any two I can think of. It would have been awesomeness to have those two lines tied together.
What I am saying is that when my wife read "Fate of the Persecutors of the Prophet Joseph Smith" right before our child died - and had a witness of the divinity of Joseph's life and work - and asked for forgiveness for her stubbornness of heart, that it has been an uphill battle for her since. After the loss of our child in the night, there was no sleep two children later wherein she passed through hell on earth with the onset of mental illness (long story) and many hospitalizations and yo-yo ups and downs. This, culminating in her seeing "Spencer" of Visions of Glory tomorrow to work through the childhood sexual abuse that started this whole mess in her childhood. I demanded that her abuser pay for her treatment until she is whole of this mis-trust of men and dis-abuses herself of the notion that almost ALL men are pigs - as her abuser was when her trust was betrayed as an 8 year old girl.
And after ALL of THAT hell that I have had to watch her go thru - for stubbornness of heart, instead of being believing in the innocence and goodness of one man (and many of the rest of us who love what is good and right), this comes out. Something basically refuting much of what was taught by that hellish woman in a BYU class. Can I tell you how fed up I am of feminists and man-haters and those who tear down what is good and right? And trashy lines of breeding that carry that notion on to the next generation? So that they have to suffer - like their pig-headed ancestors who never had it in them to just be believing - instead of doubting and full of contempt for what is good and right??
Yep - I am THAT fed up.
May "Spencer" bring a miracle about. Pray for him and for her. It has been a painful journey - like a slow-motion Hindenburg disaster. Complete with flaming corpses falling to their demise, melting in the throes of death. Having to watch it EVERY SINGLE DAY - and then this:
http://www.deseretnews.com/user/comments/700150651/DNA-solves-a-Joseph-Smith-mystery.html#cId_27899139
Proving by DNA, that Joseph was not a steaming pile like my wife was led to believe by a ravening she-wolf in sheep's clothing. Just lovely...... Wow. That is all.
I wish you had been able to attend the Provo City Temple Dedication. In the second session Larry Wilson was talking about ashes of sin, ashes of damaged relationships, ashes of death - EVERYTHING BECOMES RESTORED through the temple.
ReplyDeleteOur journey is a quest for holiness. What is holiness? It is the essence of God. For I am the Lord your God.
Live by a higher standard. Purify our thoughts, actions and motives.
Men and Women CHOOSE which way we will go. Elevate our behavior. Rededicate ourselves for holiness. God will provide what we lack.
All 3 sessions were about transformation, finding healing through the temple, helping our pioneers/ancestors, eternal life. Do everything you can to qualify to return to our Heavenly Father.
Other notes: Keep your temple recommend current. Go often. Make a monthly plan, set the temple times first and work everything else around the temple. Are you worthy to be in the temple. Do family history work. Our ancestors want work done NOW! Do not wait. Always have a temple in your sights. You think your ancestor line is done? It's not 1.9 million names are added every day to familysearch.org.
Ballards talk was about Enter into the rest of the Lord...that through the Love of God I may be no more disturbed by the craftiness of men. Enjoy exaltation
I felt like Ballard was asking us to research "rest in the fullness of his Glory"
1. Daily Prayer
2. Fasting with purpose
3. Partaking of the Sacrament / preparing for Sacrament
4. Repent (true repentance)
5. Temple Work
6. Care for the poor
7. Read Scriptures
So many more things were said, Oaks spoke and it was POWERFUL again about second coming, pioneers...
Love your wife. She married you for your potential, try to reach down and love her for her potential. Slandering never brings happiness and I hope she never reads this, it might really damage her. Visit the temple often to find peace when you might not be in harmony.
Choose your LOVE...
ReplyDeleteLove your CHOICE
Loved this! Thank you for posting.
DeleteWhatever you think of Denver Snuffer, he has made the most amazing defense of Joseph Smith ever. He has totally debunked the notion that Joseph was ever unfaithful. http://denversnuffer.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Plural-Marriage.pdf Considering your supposed strong stance in support of Joseph, it's a little nauseating what you have declared so "positively" about Joseph and Eliza, without any proof whatsoever. Also, there have been other DNA results that should have vindicated Joseph, but they haven't. People believe what they want. The new perspective and historical information revealed by Denver is game changing.
ReplyDelete