My roomie - who has been single his whole life - was looking over his lds dating site last night and I was chatting with him. One of his major concerns as a single guy - and wanting to get married - is that he simply will not be able to make the grade of economic prowess expected by the average female in the Church. He lives in a modest house that has not been updated in 30 years - and knows that it will be expected that he drop $100K+ on renos before she will consider it "habitable". His comment is that they always are comparing sideways (looking around at what all the other sisters have), and expect to be put up in like style and manner. His eyesight has failed him and he is no longer employed - so the possibility of going there simply does not exist. He, like many single LDS men, who cannot meet that one bar (but are fine in every other way), has simply given up and will maybe be a ministering angel. It is my impression on the situation - that, with all things being otherwise equal, many of his potential mates would rather pass him over and miss out on companionship, intimacy in all its forms, security - financial and whatever he could provide with old betsy and double ought buckshot, than live in some form of poverty. Not that these women want to commit to having children (they want to make sure papa birdie can bring home the worms while there are chicks in the nest), they are too old in his demographic. They simply want to be esteemed as not being married to a "financial loser". Righteousness equals financial success, right?? Of course, that last statement was dripping with sarcasm. We live (Utah) in a culture that has the highest per-capita existence of plastic surgeons. They are not there to fix an overabundance of congenital defects like cleft palates and lips - these are to slam in those fake implants, nip and tuck those extra folds and do other things so those 50 year old women can compete with those 30 year old women. Is that not the definition of "consuming it upon our lusts"? Would that resource spent on the plastic fakery not be better spent helping those who are in abject poverty? Is this not those who supposedly have a higher calling? Could this not be used to help others - instead of plunging us into a state where we will be looking up from hell and begging for those meek who suffered for lack of our largesse, to come and provide us some relief from our eternal flame that cannot be quenched?
In no way am I saying that the men of the Church do not have their problems. There are not enough ones and zeroes to go into all of them. BUT - I can say that I am not alone in my thinking. There is a problem in the Church with worldliness. Amongst my single friends (who are not LDS nor keeping the Law of Chastity), the best aphrodisiac (and attractant to a female), is money. Show them the nice car, the nice house, the fat bank account and you are in - 50 Shades of Grey style....... The running joke out there is that if that character in that movie lived in a trailer court, she would NEVER have given him the time of day. It is all about wealth and power. Our women have become intoxicated with it. Many men have, as well. They know if they want the most beautiful women (men are drawn to beauty first), then they must have the power/money/wealth in order to attract her. I knew that as a kid in high school - and poured a substantial amount of money into my beat up '66 Mustang coupe so that I could attract the attention of the girls. I had to dress in the $50 Brittania jeans and turn my nose up at the JC Penney Toughskins in order to pull her in. It was that simple - and my mom used to chide me for my prideful attitude. It was driven by my need to impress the girls. Money (or the appearance of having ample amounts of it along with the popularity it brought) was the currency. I was just paying the price of admission to get into their world.
As a prescient and thinking adult - it is all foolishness and I now call it Babylon. I pretty much reject it. Money is now a means to first bless the life of my family - and then see how much I can do to bless the lives of others. I am not setting myself up here - but this is the Zion spirit. Only those who have it, will make it into the next phase of Millennial living. It will (literally) be the currency of the next 1000 years as the god of this world and his hellish minions are cast to the curb as we crowd out selfish desires and replace those with thoughts and actions of "what can I do to bless your life?".
The rest will be gone as the purge sweeps through our land - and all we used to cling to (beauty, money, power, fame), is laid waste. Isaiah 4:4 talks of this directly. For those (women specifically), who have looked sideways on the (meek) lowly men who possessed no power, handsomeness, money - those who will end up inheriting the earth - they will have only those for breeding partners. Those who have arrogantly said that they would never share their man (rejected openly Section 132) - they will come to an understanding. It will be a painful lesson in the ultimate form of Consecration. I will look on with pity for them - but know it is all just part of the sifting process and a necessary part of the Pride Cycle. Come what may - and let us love it! At least there will once again be growth - and the saying of "All is Well in Zion" will not be met with scorn and derision from those who know better.
The Book of the Prophet Isaiah
Chapter 4
Zion and her daughters will be redeemed and cleansed in the millennial day—Compare 2 Nephi 14.1 And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.2 In that day shall the branch of the Lord be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the earth shall be excellent and comely for them that are escaped of Israel.3 And it shall come to pass, that he that is left in Zion, and he that remaineth in Jerusalem, shall be called holy, even every one that is written among the living in Jerusalem:
Let the nasty comments begin...... Sorry if you were offended - but I have to say it as I (and Isaiah) call it. I would love to hear respectful contrary comments or life experiences if you disagree.
Amen and Amen!
ReplyDeleteIt goes two ways, brother.
ReplyDeleteThere are many wonderful girls and women who are overlooked because they aren't flashy enough or something....
i agree with your thoughts. but i think it is the church in general, to give an example i saw a stake pres on his phone/email or whatever he was doing while a man was presenting his lesson, he wasnt on the stand but in the audience, there must have 10% of the members doing the same thing, it was sad, to many young men are addicted to video games, they wont even date because of it. god has to unplug the members.
ReplyDeleteWhile I do agree that there is a problem with worldliness, even in the church; I do think you are over generalizing here. There are plenty of women that we know in the church that don't fit this mold. I have never been like that growing up and have taught our kids no to be worldly. We almost never buy things new and really don't put much emphasis on money or worldly things. I'm just saying not everyone has had the experiences you have had growing up. I think that can slant our opinions on such subjects for the rest of our lives. So while I agree that worldliness is generally rampant in the church, in both men and women; I think there are many "real" people here too.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing I disagree with is your inferment that if a women is unwilling to share her man, she is worldly. I know that polygamy was enstated for a purpose for a season in the church; but I don't think an willingness to practice it equals unworldliness. I for one would share everything I have with those in need. But my husband and my kids are my sacred treasures that I honor right up there next to my God and my covenants. Nothing could be more sacred to me. What we have could never be substituted, replaced or intruded upon. Even if one of us was to die, neither of us would remarry because we understand that ours is a forever marriage and death is merely a temporary door to pass through.
I don't think everybody has these same sentiments or desires. I certainly think that some of those called upon to practice polygamy back in the day were less prone to having such strong attachments and oppositions to such practices. Heavenly Father knows our hearts and I don't think all will be required to pass through that particular trial.
Anyhow I don't think that it's so much a matter of worldliness vs unworldliness, at least for us it isn't.
I do have to say that I have quite a hard time finding other women that I feel are "real" that I can relate to; even in the church. Most are into looks and material things. But not all, I have met some really unworldly people over the years. But I admit that they are few and far between.
The seven "women" could also be a reference to the seven "churches." The only man who can take away their reproach is The Bridegroom Himself, even Jesus Christ.
ReplyDeleteYes, there are women who need to be humbled, but there are just as many men who need the same. "Daughters of Zion" is a metaphor for the House of Israel.