I have a work friend who is divorced and has found another woman he is really compatible with (who is currently divorcing her husband).
He is afraid of marriage because of the heck he went through the last time around. I mentioned that if he wanted this marriage to go the distance, he would have to wait until he was married to engage in relations with his new-found sweetie. I thought he would laugh me out of the room - but he is a good man (one of the best fathers I have seen) and took me half way seriously. I pointed out that the respect between two people that love each other is magnified when they work together in a joint manner toward the goal of becoming one flesh on the wedding night - and not sooner. Trust is built and the very basic concept of having to work together towards a goal that is difficult (especially once you have been married and have already "opened Pandora's box") helps the couple develop unselfishness and that crucial sense of team work necessary for a happy marriage. Most people scoff at this concept - but I know it to be real and effective.
Here is a link to the article:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1341126/Want-secret-happy-marriage-Dont-sex-wedding.html
ENJOY!!
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